Bridges

In thinking about how I am going to keep myself above water with the many challenges life is dishing out right now, this bridge came to mind, and how it was installed with a lot of courage and ingenuity by my Dad on our Twin Cedars Farm in Hanover, MA. That bridge is made from the frame of an ancient Ford truck and a collection of old truck tailgates and has been in place over that brook as long as I can remember. Right now, as I have written about before, the land and that special bridge have been sold and as you can see there is silt control in place by the developers (sob, sob) and soon there will be a new bridge over the brook.
Dad's bridge allowed access to the back of the farm and up a beautiful hill, where chickens used to graze, and before that, sheep roamed in pastures divided by ancient stone walls. How many times we drove the old dump trucks over that bridge, laughing all the way and never questioning the strength of that bridge. It was just there! We always paid homage to the "troll" who reportedly lived under the bridge and saw us safely across, and we would have picnics with our feet in the cool brook on hot summer days, feasting on the black raspberries and blueberries which grew near the banks. In winter beautiful icy edges formed.

Now I search for a bridge to carry me over this time as Lou MUST focus on his recovery, and I must face my father's decline. I feel really lost in it all. My days at work help but my mind is reeling even there. Can I keep on wearing the happy face when I am crying inside? I think about throwing my energy into creating quilts again and maybe that will be one "bridge".
Then I wonder if I should just "sit" in the middle of the brook" and let the feelings flow over me, experiencing this as just a part of life. The last words my grandfather told me when he was nearing 100 years were, "Don't fight life my dear, and you will be fine". Why must I rail against it? The struggle is so exhausting but I cannot seem to stop....I right myself but keep falling backwards. So now I have had this little "feel sorry for myself", and construction of my bridge is taking place. Perhaps I should search for the troll!
Anyway, it was a happy few minutes here, reflecting on the old bridge and the beautiful life my dear father and mother gave all of us on the farm. They sure showed us how to build bridges over the greatest obstacles, and obstacles there were on a working farm! I am so very grateful for that life and the one I have now.