Sunday, March 23, 2008

The Weekend

Scenes from the Weekend

Bob in "his" chair....actually the chair belongs to my nephew, Dan, but I doubt it will ever make it to his house in NY. Bob has staked his claim and it is placed nicely under a skylight for maximum sunning.

Serving Table Tulips

Trish's Easter Table


Yesterday was the most active day yet for LM. We were out for half the day doing all the errands on our respective lists. We got in a lot of walking and the brilliant sunshine warmed the car and made the day a sparkler.

We had a brief visit with Kristi and Ellen and things seem to be OK there. Ellen is now tethered to oxygen and so far she is not smoking. We exchanged Easter gifts and got to admire the sweet Easter tree which is Kristi's custom to place on the porch. It was just great. She has a fun-filled creativity in her nature and that serves her well. I was back home early and very tired.

This morning, I awoke with sadness again. It seems to descend on me on the weekends. I pulled myself together and began the long drive to pick-up my Dad and go to my brother's for Easter dinner. Dad is doing so well. He's now walking with a walker and it has made a huge difference. We had a lovely dinner with my brother, his wife and their son and Dad was thrilled to spend time with his dear cat, Bob, who lives the high life with my brother and family. My brother is a wonderful cook and we had fun talking about his strong interest in learning to make bread.
Dad ran out of energy after eating quite a bit of dinner and having dessert, so I took him for a ride to see the ocean which was just beautiful today....truly blue-green. There were so many people out walking and enjoying the day.

On the way home, I picked up LM as he had asked last night if I would bring him over to see Ms. Graysea. He misses her so much. Well, we arrived here to find NO sign of her. She never came out of hiding under the bed during his entire visit....he was so sad. He did lay on the floor next to the bed and reach in to pat her and talk with her but she was not coming out! Prior to our relationship, she NEVER came out of hiding if a stranger was in the house. It has been amazing that she has emerged to welcome LM since the beginning so her behavior today is very unusual. I think he left feeling a bit worried that she has no memory of him or that he is emitting some strange scary odor...LOL. Once he comes back and stays for awhile she will be fine. I know he really wanted some kitty-love very much and it was sad that none was available. On a very bright note....LM drove my car for 11 miles today on the way to my house. PROGRESS. He felt fine, too.
There is still a bit of strangeness and uncomfortable silence with LM and me, and behind it,,I think, is a mountain of emotion. Each time I say good-bye to him, I feel my heart leap in fear that it will be the last time. We began to talk about it a bit this afternoon and I started crying and have barely stopped. I think the sadness which has been hovering is a mask for the fright and loss I feel at what happened to LM.....and, as usually happens with us, he called while I was typing this and echoed those sentiments and told me not to feel bad about crying and expressing the feelings I have. I love that man. He has a lot to process and his body, mind and soul have scars which need to heal....I want to help with the healing and need to heal myself, too.

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