Thursday, November 30, 2006

Out here on this elbow of Cape Cod MA, this is a very common scene. Summer/Fall seems to last so long. Yesterday, I walked at lunch, through a small unassuming neighborhood, behind my office, and was just amazed at the warmth of the sun, but even more so at all the flowers still to be enjoyed. Many roses, tiny white flowers on smoke bushes, mums and even a few hydrangeas which are still blue, were along the way. We are almost surrounded by water on all sides here and it does set us up to have lots of fog but it is a lovely filter for the overwhelming beauty.
That walk just inspired a few lines. Grateful I can see it, as so many who live here don't even notice.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Settling and Trying to End on Cape Cod

Having dinner with an elderly neighbor last evening provoked an interesting conversation about how so many of us end up out here on this beautiful arm of land. We both ended up here because of romantic memories of childhood and teenaged visits to the beaches and beauty. Somehow hoping to recapture those idyllic times, we got husbands to move here, only to find that it may be wonderful for a time but life changes, jobs are scarce and when a partner is gone, it is the loneliest place, even more so, when age makes getting around difficult. My neighbor is so lonely and so far from children and many friends have died. Her husband was the much loved manager of the building where I work and he became part of our work family, so after he died, we continued to be friends with his wife. Twenty years separate us in age but we have so much to talk about and share. Last night we laughed and we cried seems she is just now beginning to feel the grief of her husband's death two years ago. She probably should move closer to a son or a daughter but it would mean leaving all the familiar places and giving up the bit of autonomy she has left. It is almost as if she waited too long to make a move. Should there be more of a plan in place for our later years? It is not always possible to do that.
Having been bankrupted by failed marriages, I find myself in this beautiful place, having to work full-time(not that I do not LOVE my job) to keep afloat. Living in "shangri-la" is expensive, fantastic and very scary alone. I worry about being a burden to my children.
If I have the possibility of starting a new life with someone do I risk it? My neighbor has gone beyond that option.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Shadows in the Moonlight

Beautiful weekend here, and much of it enjoyed outside on long walks. Saturday, was a day of several great walks. The first walk was at Fort Hill in Eastham which is part of the Cape Cod National Seashore. The trail begins on a high hill with a very dramatic ocean view across a lovely marsh and inlets, resplendent in a Fall mantel of rust and gold. The air was so clear and beautiful; many brilliant red berries and cedars with lovely blue berries; pampas grass rustled in the wind at the edge of the marsh. The trail leads from open fields, to a deep forest of cedars, out to another clearing with ocean views, back to a boardwalk which winds for a long while over a red cedar swamp, then back up a steep hilly forest to the fields again. I surprised a red tailed hawk who was searching for lunch. A very beautiful place, all set off by the roar of the open ocean and a surprise around every corner. Each season is a thrill there, especially the wildflowers in the summer.
Headed up the road to see friends in Truro and then on to Provincetown for a lovely waterfront lunch....chicken fajita roll-up with sweet potato fries!

Back to Chatham, walked for three miles through the village in the moonlit evening. Beautiful shadows from the ancient trees and homes.

Jason (one and only son) delivered two dressers to me today to replace my old broken-leg poor excuse for a dresser. The new ones are from my Dad's house. They are all in place and filled. Memories of Mama flooded my mind as I polished them and placed my things where hers had been so recently. How much I wish I could talk to her....I still do it anyway on a daily basis but it is not the same.

Now it is on to Christmas plans and they seem to be shaping up nicely to be held at Jason's. Alison and I are already plotting menu ideas.
Time to give Ms G her treats and go to bed....back to reality and work tomorrow.
Need to work on knitting! Many orders for scarves and I still want to make many more washcloths.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Dad's Friend Bob

Aa mentioned earlier, may I present Bob! He loves cramming his royal self into any and all small spaces and just looking cute at it!


Stepping out from lurking for years, to try my hand at my own blog.
Just a single and searching 63 year old woman, mother of three, living with her cat in a glorious seaside community on Cape Cod in MA, working at a job I love and enjoying nature.
I hope to just write a bit about my daily observations of the beauty around me, the antics of Ms. Graysea, and the joys and travails of family. I'm about to become a grandmother for the 5th time - It's a girl! I'm a sometimes knitter, former quilter, maker of bracelets and necklaces, and lover of fabric and color. I confess, to loving design and theory over practical application.

As I write the sunshine is dancing through the shadows of the trees outside my window and Ms. G is most amused, although she dearly wants to sit on top of this laptop and claim my attention from the keys.

Thanksgiving was a lovely day, celebrated with my brother and family on the South Shore. My 94 year old Dad, who lives with my brother, truly enjoyed the feast and all the guests. He is thriving since moving in with my brother almost a year ago. I spend a good deal of my weekends with Dad and we love to go exploring the backroads and find interesting places for lunch. There has been a lot of stress surrounding his move from his home of 50+ years but he's in a more accepting place right now. We all worried about him even though he is very capable, his legs have weakened and he was alone way too much. Ah, the sandwich generation! Our family is very blessed to have my brother and wife who opened their home to Dad. It cannot be easy for them on a daily basis. Dad now has two great cats who also give him lots of love on a daily basis. One in particular, Bob, is a manx who climbs up on Dad's lap and hugs him! I cannot help but think that all seniors should have a beloved pet for companionship and comfort. We laughingly call Bob "Mama in a cat suit". My Mom died several years ago and she was a dedicated cat lover.