Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Time at Last

T.I.M.E. = This I must experience.
A valuable lesson in my life. A myriad of life experiences later, I find it really is now time for me to savor, embrace and humbly recognize that I am truly loved in so many ways and that I am worthy of that love. For so long I felt I was not, I did my best to repel love in many ways. I guess I needed to wait to be loved by the right man. He has arrived!! Speaking of time, 2 months or more have passed since I last wrote, mostly taken up by falling in love and savoring every second.
I have known LM for 15 years. We have been friends all that TIME, respecting and caring about each other and our respective children. We saw each other every Monday night at my previous job (where he still teaches). There was always a spark, always caring and sharing; there was even teasing by my co-workers who sensed how he felt about me. No line was ever crossed, but there were warm smiles aways and a big hug when I retired.
In the first year after I retired (only from that job, as I moved on to a wonderful new career in the world of architecture), LM called me to say he would like to take me to dinner to thank me for all the help during our work relationship. It never happened and I thought about him often. When I was informed, 3 years later, that his longtime partner, Lillian, died of breast cancer, I was heartsick for him and wrote him a card to say just that. Within a week or so he called me to thank me for the card and we did make a time to have dinner. LM arrived with flowers and a warm hug. The chemistry between us was VERY strong that evening. We shared a long evening, a lovely dinner, a lot of talking about our lives, still we did not discuss feelings for each other. When he asked if we could get together again I said no and that he needed TIME to heal and grieve his loss.
I thought a lot about the chemistry I felt that night but knew LM really needed TIME...thus, many months passed, I dealt with some family issues, worked on my health, ended a brief relationship which was making me feel guilty, unhappy, less than a woman and just not right.

I decided to just go on being single, taking good care of myself, my family and finding joy in my everyday life.....I was feeling on top of my game, and WOW, the phone rang and LM was on the other end. It was TIME for a date !!!! Within 3 days we were on that date and it was the most magical night I have ever known. Since that first date, I have been enveloped in the arms of a love I have NEVER known. It is filled with caring, respect, and passion, and there is no agenda except to care about each other and to love each other each day. OFTEN we speak with awe about how long it took us, complete with many interesting side trips, to get where we are now, but it has been a sweet wait, simmering within, perhaps more in him than in me, as I just never thought I could be worthy of someone like him. A girl can dream, though and sometimes those dreams come true. LM makes me feel special, thought about, and loved everyday in so many ways. He is a very positive thinker, remembers what is important to me, what I am doing, if I need something, caring about my family and his, and best of all, he is spontaneously romantic and very open with his thoughts and feelings. We are spending hours and hours talking and really getting to know each other.

TIME will tell where this journey will lead but right now each day is a miracle, we both feel so alive, so in love and know our TIME is here. We talk a lot about how nice it is to have this deep love now at ages 64 and 70, as we don't have a lot of other life issues to contend with, we have TIME to focus, savor and care for one another without pressures. It feels so right.
Of course, all those who have known us both through the years are so so happy and giving us "I told you so's"...very sweet. MMMMMMMMMM!!
Happiness reigns!!
PS. Ms. Graysea adores LM and he adores her....I often catch him down at her level talking sweet talk to her and patting her gently!