Leavings

Yesterday was another day of saying final good-byes to beloved co-workers. Each time the axe falls it seems to hurt more. Being on the front lines and doing a lot of client relations, I am often the first person to relay the news that the person they wish to reach is no longer available. There were hushed meetings, sad faces and fearful conversations, very tearful and angry clients. "Who's next" echoed in the hallways, all as the principals tried to assure us that it is a necessary restructure to prepare for perilous economic straits. We do have work, work which should reach out almost 5-10 years, but there is definitely a change. Our sub-contractors and our vendors are suffering, too. The person who was discharged yesterday is also in the beginnings of a very painful divorce.....my heart aches for him.

How do I separate this from my own life?? It is very difficult and I slept fitfully last night after sniping at LM and then had painful leg cramps all night, which skyrocketed me out of bed every hour or so, in an attempt to relieve the pain. Everytime I jumped up, I would throw poor Ms G onto the floor, as she was cuddling with me under the covers. She's such a sweet forgiving soul, though.

In a cruel twist of fate, tonight is our office Christmas party!! We all know how much I LOVE parties....I have told LM he needn't attend as his schedule is crazy today and he really hates social as much as I do. He will be waiting for me when I get home.....some solace that I will happily anticipate.

So, my plan is to go to work this morning and have a little smile on my face all day, hoping it will be contagious. Yesterday we had people so emotionally distraught that they were allowed to go home. I know it will be difficult for them on their return today.

Last night, I had my hair cut very short to repair a disastrous haircut done over a month ago. I have no idea what my stylist was doing but she cut my hair down to the scalp in three prominent places and it has been a bad month.....with me, bad hair=bad day. Much better today!!!

On to more positive things. I am very fortunate to have excellent health insurance paid by my former employer. Yesterday I received a letter from them detailing a "Get Healthy" program and offering $400 to each person who participates. I have made the decision to commit to it and will attend an informational meeting next week to learn more and have an initial screening Hopefully, I will be chosen. Basically, I am healthy, although I could lose 15 lbs and sometimes my BP is high despite meds. I do eat a healthy diet, although I cannot bite or chew so it limits a lot of healthy choices. That should be remedied by more minor surgery in February. It will run 6 weeks from Jan 6-Feb 12. I like having this to look forward to instead of focusing on the fact that "I should exercise more", etc.....that tape plays in my head all day but that is a story for another time. Right now, this insurance is my reward for toiling, poorly paid, in community education for many years! I am also hopeful about finding some new contacts/friends in the "Getting Healthy" group. Although it may sound like I am pretty busy, I am socially isolated. Sounds weird after I say how much I hate social but I am talking about one on one girlfriends!

Time to put my smile on and face the day!