Monday, February 2, 2009

Weekend Update

On the go all weekend.....with the constant expectation of Bob's loss in the background until yesterday, when we nearly faced it head-on. LM had to call 911 to have Bob taken to the hospital, where he remains this morning. One minute at a time....cancer has spread through much of his body but we await the official answer on that today. They did manage to get all the legal papers completed on Saturday and it was done exactly as Bob wished. His attorney is a good friend and neighbor who was wonderful in pulling it all together and will continue to be an advisor to LM. LM will be executor and inherit the estate. I truly do not know how LM is still standing with all the stress he has had during these past 6 months. We sat with Bob for 7-8 hours yesterday in the ER but he was unresponsive the entire time. He also has a raging UTI. So sad, He did acknowledge our presence once, and we were called on to make the DNR or not choice. LM is working that out with Bob's nephew. Moral dilemma, but I was very proud of how LM put himself in Bob's place, knowing him so well, and was going to base the decision on what he thought Bob would have wished. Still not sure of the final decision on that this morning. Bob rallied enough last night, after hours of fluids, to talk with LM and also talk with me on the phone around midnight. Very weak. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Probably hospice will come in to play. Lots of testing will be done today. At least he is safe and comfortable and LM is not struggling to manage this all at home. The ER care last night was beyond wonderful and they were packed with sick people and other situations. I've never seen it so busy.
LM and I were able to remain very close through this and we supported each other lovingly. They say you can truly judge character from reactions in a situation like this...LM is a saint in my estimation. He got home from the hospital after 1 this morning yet took time to write me a sweet e-mail and thank me for helping him get through the day. I really didn't feel like I did anything but sit by his side and help him to comfort Bob. We did spend a lot of time talking about all Bob has done in his life, and also about the unique friendship those two share. We shed some tears and lots of laughs over those memories. We also talked about all the practical matters which will be facing us when Bob dies. Precious moments. LM never knew how often Bob would call me in the evening and just chat like a best girlfriend....we had a lot of fun in the few years I have been part of the picture, and I am blessed to be his friend. Here's hoping there are some days left when the three of us can have some more laughs and sharing. Also, there will now be time to discuss the DNR/resuscitate? breathing tube? We want Bob to answer on his own.
I will come back later today with an update on Bob.

There were some fun and sweet moments on the weekend, too. Saw baby Teddy, Dad (thriving right now), my dear friend Sue made me Ginger tea and we shared a lovely visit on Saturday night. Talked with lots of my siblings, too.

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