Monday, February 16, 2009

Conspicuous in his Absence

This long weekend was truly a gift to me, a time to begin the healing process from Bob's loss and and a time for LM and I to be alone together and find "us" again. We spent a good deal of time cleaning and organizing at Bob's house and it looks so much better - back to the way he kept it with some streamlined improvements. We've made a big dent in the process of gathering all the paperwork, and after many trips to the transfer station, it is a lot less cluttered with medical care mess which had amassed. With the help of my daughter, Sara and husband, Richie. We got rid of an old mattress and the non-functioning TV and had a chance for a little visit with their sweet Samantha who came along to help. They also picked up the twin bed which Bob had been going to give them for a long time, but never got done. It will be Samantha's "big girl" bed, beginning tonight. She is cuddling the Valentine pillow I gave her for her new bed! There is now a beautiful new flat screen TV!! We have done some discussion about me moving there but I am approaching that change very slowly and deliberately. We need to have legal things in place to safeguard my future, etc. There is also much to do first. Fun to think about, but plans must be prudent and proceed slowly over the next year.

We spent a lot of time talking about Bob.....I catch sadness in LM's face at times but he keeps on going and doing what he must as executor of Bob's estate. The grief is strange. Today, I had lunch with a great and inspiring friend and as we were discussing Bob, I burst into tears. It was totally unexpected and took a few minutes to catch my composure. It is hard to describe what a dear friend and loyal supporter he was of my relationship with LM. A very sweet thing.

Saturday evening was the first time LM has spent any length of time at my house in over three months. We settled in to watch a movie and within 1 minute, Ms G was in his lap, her sweet warm body was against his chest and she seemed to be doing her best to absorb his grief. This went on all night. She is a dear creature and LM was overtaken with emotion at her tenderness.
Below is the sweet girl, soaking up some heat from the table lamp. The white spot on her neck seems to be glowing like the star she is Love that cat.
So there is lots of love around right now, yet a pensiveness pervades, as we are feeling a terrible void where Bob used to be.
Today, after I had lunch in town, I brought LM a bouquet of daffodils to brighten "his" house, and some food I had cooked this morning. He just needs extra nurturing after all he has given of himself. Me too, and I am getting plenty of it right back.


Beverly said...

I know that time will bring answers to all your concerns about your future. I know you both must be feeling empty with the loss of a dear friend. And then at the same time loving the alone time you now have.

amy in ct said...

you two are wonderful people to have been there for bob during this time
i wish you both peace and happiness
and ms g is beautiful!