Monday, February 9, 2009

True Love

Sunday.....Amidst the continuing pain of Bob's impending death, I took time to visit baby Teddy and his parents today. Watching and listening to my dear son and his wife adore their new son, whom they waited so long to welcome into their lives, filled my heart to the brim! With a beautiful sunny day and Teddy in my arms, I walked around the house to each window and we looked out together, we looked in mirrors, we looked in each others' eyes and I just felt so in love with him all over again.

Before the drive to have my fill of baby love, I stopped at the nursing home to see Bob. He'd been there since Friday night and was very unhappy in a too small room, with a noisy roommate and only able to whisper "I want to go home." It has been heart wrenching. LM was so taken up with it all day Saturday that he was unable to come over to be with me that night. I found myself in a place of feeling resentful, sad and crying a lot. I managed to spare LM most of what I felt, but did tell him that I was feeling sad and missing him and he apologized, but really, there is nothing he can do and my snit is certainly not rational, only a release of emotion. We are caught up in something we cannot change, we must see it through. We both truly love Bob and need to be strong as we ease him through this part of his life.
Yesterday morning, we met and went to see Bob briefly and as I leaned in close to his face to hear him, I was shocked to hear that his chest seemed very congested. He was also very confused today. We left with sinking hearts, uttering prayers for Bob, holding each other tighter than usual.
I'd no sooner arrived to visit with the baby than LM called to tell me that Bob was on the way to the hospital as he had worsened rapidly. Once again, we spent a long afternoon and evening at the ER.
It is a matter of waiting now.......parting at the hospital was so difficult, going home to separate homes last night was torture......LM concerned that I need to sleep and work in the morning. I KNOW he went back in to the hospital and sat there even longer into the night. I await word on the night.

1 comment:

amy in ct said...

my prayers are with you. this is such a difficult thing to deal with. bob means so much to you both and to watch, unable to help him easy his struggle and wait while god decides when is the best time to welcome him home.
i pray that he is peaceful as i write this note
take care
i am thinking of you all