The Nitty Gritty

Oh, this day was tough all the way around. This morning I had all I could do to stay at work. I had to rehash the past 6 days over and over as friends arrived for work and expressed their deep concern for LM and for me. Not only was I teary but my stomach has been so rocky all day.

LM seemed to be having a good day and he had some company but he is very tired and becoming annoyed with his surroundings. He had a nice shower for the first time today and that felt good but he has a severe outbreak of thrush in his throat and mouth. He has a medication for it but it is not allowing him to eat or swallow without a lot of pain. When I arrived he said he had been counting the minutes until my arrival. He knew I would leave my office at 5. I just spent the time trying to make him comfy, and I cut his toe nails and massaged his feet and legs as we talked about our respective days. He is in a great deal of pain from the healing of the chest incision. I can see that the knitting process is taking place and it is really uncomfortable. He is now down to the hardest part of the recovery and with that comes some depression and frustration and the dreaded homesickness. He seemed like he just wanted to close his eyes so I left a bit early, stopped for groceries (heaven forbid I should come home without Ms Graysea's supply of Whiskas Temptations....we were totally out!), then stopped at Lou's house to drop off some cardiac aftercare information for Bob to look over before homecoming day. I was just leaving Bob's when LM called me and he was really sad, barely talking, wanting to say "I miss you so much and I just want my life back ". Each time I have had surgery, I have gotten to that point in recovery and I know exactly how he feels. It is awful and you just want your own bed and quiet. Enough is enough.
To compound matters, at the hospital there is a patient across the hall who talks loudly on the phone to his DOG, yes, his dog!! He gets his wife on the phone and demands she put the phone to the dog's ear....remember I said we liked bizarre? Not this bad, please. The man also plays his TV very loudly as early as 6 am. It really is awful and exagerates LM's discomfort. So hard.

A week ago tonight, I was at LM & Bob's house and we were all sitting around laughing and in high gear. What a difference this week.
We are so grateful for all the love and support. It has truly been amazing with people from around the world offering prayers, positive thoughts and little cards and gifts.
I plan to drift off to sleep and creatively visualize a peaceful and more energetic day for LM tomorow and wake-up refreshed for the first time in a long time.