Sounds and scents can really pull the trigger on intense emotions. In another life, I lived in a place of abject fear, and the sound of the automatic garage door opener could make every muscle in my body tighten, and the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. I heard the repeated sound of a door opener today.....except I was not near a garage. Where that came from, I do not know, but I was right back to 4.5 years ago. Post traumatic stress seems, most days, to have disappeared, except in my dreams. It makes me physically sick and causes me to shut down my feelings. Painful. It will pass, I have faith in that fact. In another instance today, I looked at a picture which came my way unwittingly, and there was a direct link to the abuser. Maybe I need these reminders of how far I have come, and how I will never have to tolerate bad behavior again
I am channeling the angst by cleaning out drawers and watching endless episodes of Mad Men...a good place to hide out.
As I was cleaning, the scent trigger came in to play and it was pleasant.....a little sample packet of Chanel #5....one my mother's favorite scents. Took me away from the sound of the garage door and tapped in to a different sense. Pleasant.....and now I smile as Ms G, my ever present sweet distraction is engagng me in play. She brings me her little Nerf ball and drops iton the keyboard for me to throw.
Just a little bit of my quiet MLK day at home.....reflective, as it should be, and how nice that so many are full of hope right now. Me, too!