Wednesday, November 19, 2008


The past three days have been the most even, productive and happy days I have had, it seems, since LM's sudden heart attack and resultant surgery last February. I guess it was just time, and receiving the news that I would not need knee surgery on my left knee has made a huge difference in my outlook. Being free of unrelenting pain and weakness has brought a lightness to my spirit which feels so good. My creativity is at a high I have not known for years and I am finishing projects! This is a mock cable scarf in process. The beautiful yarn was hand spun by my SIL Jennifer and gifted to me last Spring when I really needed a lift in spirits.

There are people all around me who are struggling terribly from the effects of the current economic downturn and everyday I give thanks for my good job, which is a mile from my house, and the fact that I have a relatively nice place to live in this very affluent area where rents are beyond reach for many. I was fortunate enough to find a place which is less than half of most rents, easy to heat, etc. Each day I am still conserving in many ways, though. I make fewer trips to see my Dad (2 hrs each way), and am making careful choices about purchases of all types. I have given up cable TV, reduced the services to bare minimum on my cell phone, and am foregoing any Christmas gifts except some cookies which I will make with LM's daughter, Kristi.
These changes are all doable for me and accepted as just the way life will be right now. I am one of the lucky ones, I know. Today I found out my rent will go up by $50. in January and that hurts a lot. I am trying to stay calm and positive about it but I am feeling resentful. Who do I resent, though??? My landlord beautifully maintains all his properties, responds to any and all calls for help almost immediately, and his insurance rates are rising at the speed of sound. He was very sad to tell me about the rent increase. I guess I should be angry at ME for my life being impoverished at 65, but that is wasted energy. Anyway, I guess I have been feeling so well this week so that I can absorb today's news and not have a meltdown. Somehow the forces bigger than me have a way of arranging things like that!

On the Ms G front....she is a happy, happy girl at the moment as I have allowed her to have a twist tie to play with for a little while. She loves those things and carries it around like it is a fresh kill, throwing it in the air and jumping and twisting. I will take it away before I go to bed as she has a tendency to try to eat things. Then I will have to live with the guilt she imposes!!! Better than the guilt I am prone to imposing on myself!!!


Beverly said...

The scarf is very nice...I really like the colors. The pictures were also nice from the previous post. I loved the rainbow.
I know what you mean about expenses, in my second marriage, I wanted for nothing. I got used to that and now I live from payday to payday. This is the third house I have bought since and did not make wise decisions. But, no need to beat myself up for things.

barbara said...

I love the colors of the new scarf and it must be fun to see the colors change as you knit. I always like that. It is so hard not to be anxious about the future sometimes. Of course, it does us no good to worry. It makes me feel better to read your blog, knowing that you are coping with some of what I am also coping with. We must just keep enjoying what we have and those we love today. Tomorrow will be here soon enough!
Take care.