Birthdays and Birth Days

Today is my middle child's 44th birthday.....it feels like such an important birthday this year as Sara has had to struggle very hard for these years. Through several of my broken marriages, uncertain living situations, then on to a very young disastrous marriage of her own, and facing the ravages of drug and alcohol addiction recovery, she has continued to have spirit, the desire to be a successful mother and help those in the situations she has found herself in time and time again. I am proud to say that on many levels she has succeeded. She is now a very devoted and caring mother (in the past she was not capable of that role and two children suffered deeply) to her sweet daughter, Samantha, now 20 mos.), and she is a most tolerant and supportive wife to her husband, Richie. Richie comes from a huge family of lost souls and Sara has made it her job to help them, and she really shows a lot of compassion. I am grateful for that part of her nature, even if at times, to me, it seems she is wasting her time. Today she lives in a nice place (for many years, there have not been such nice places), she is warm, relatively healthy, and she appreciates each day as it comes. She has a lot of challenges, a major one being severe epilepsy, and yet she does her very best each day, and I am proud of her. Tomorrow some friends and Sara are having a party to celebrate her birthday and tonight I will make the cake. I will bake using a recipe of my mother's and try to emulate the love my mother always put into everything she made. Sara adored my mother and it is a special link.

This morning finds me anxious for my son, daughter-in-law and new baby to be. She is just about full-term with their first child and over the weekend began to notice that the baby was not moving any longer. She spent part of yesterday at the hospital and had an ultrasound and other testing. The baby has a strong heartbeat and is in breech position. They gave her several methods to use to encourage the baby to move....placing ice packs on the area where the baby's head is present, I guess, causes the baby to move in some cases. She is to monitor how often she feels movement over the next few days and if movement is infrequent, she is to go back for another ultrasound over the weekend. Tenterhooks!!! They have waited a very long time and been down a painful road to have this child and I so want everything to be fine, but then don't we always want that for our children?? Looks like we could have a new baby before the due date of December 8-9. Alison is very positive that everything will be OK....but I know my dear son is nervous and on edge.

LM, too, has some painfully worrisome issues happening with his children, too. We are looking forward to some time this weekend....WE ARE NOT DOG SITTING, YEAH!!...just for us, to create a little space, putting worry aside to just have fun. Might be a challenge, but we are pretty adept at getting to that space, if only by going out and seeking relief in "our church", nature.

Whew, there is a lot going on......my head remains clear, there is a pork roast in the crockpot, it is a very cold and clear morning with beautiful sunshine, and I just felt so alive as I stepped out the door for work. Speaking of work, it is a sad place today as the economy forced a painful move here yesterday. My very favorite co-worker and dear friend, Nick, was let go. We both stood outside after work and shed a lot of tears. He is a true craftsman and the builder of the beautiful models of our homes which are normally produced for our clients to see what their house will look like when complete. These days clients are not having models made as they are too expensive. Nick is a talented set designer and has vast theater experience and I am certain he will find a job which will suit him just fine and he will be a bright light wherever he lands. Having him here everyday was such a pleasure. Without his gentle presence, his joyfulness and caring nature, and his wonderful sense of humor there will be a huge void in my everyday. Our friendship will endure outside the office, though. Ah, there are so many things happening...