Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Passing through Loss

One year ago today, I drove 75 miles alone through a terrible snowstorm to see Dad for the last time. I believe he knew I was there, holding his hand for the longest time, before tearing myself away to make the long return journey in the snow. He was at peace, and the next morning, Trish, my dear sister-in-law, brought her wonderful cat, Bob, who always adored Dad, to lay with Dad for awhile on the bed. That afternoon, Dad passed on.
I'm barely allowing myself time to go near the grief right now but feel writing a little about it is important. Ironically, tonight a storm is raging outside my window, it is snowing, I am alone, and sort of in a daze. This will pass, and I will sleep well, as I imagine Dad's force is on the wind, guiding me along. There have been tears today. I miss him every minute. Loving support is offered by LM as we comfort each other. Two painful anniversary-of-loss dates have just passed for him. We keep telling each other we will make it through, and we will, as we remind each other of all we have!
There are lovely and entertaining babies to visit (supper with Teddy tomorrow night!!). Samantha will have her 3rd birthday party on Saturday. I will look into their sweet faces and see Dad and be thankful for his life.


Beverly said...

I know how you feel. I continue to miss my mother. My thoughts are with you. My boys granny passed away yesterday. I am so sad. She was so ready to go. But, my children will miss her...

Anonymous said...

Just think of the fiercness of the wind as his fierce love for you and you'll make it through both storms. It is hard. I still think and talk to dad after 5 years. He is still with me. I feel him all the time and it makes me smile...debbie

Julie said...

The last line says it all. We continue on in others once we have passed.


Kittie Howard said...

Your words are so deep, so eloquent, so loving. And what a howling night. I'm glad my hub's closet fell in!

Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.

ABBY said...

Nothing can take away the love you shared, ever. And nothing can take away the love you continue to feel. Ralph Waldo Emerson said it quite beautifully:

in this universe
nothing is ever wholly lost
that which is excellent
remains forever a part of this universe
human hearts are dust
but the love which moves the human heart
abides to bless
the last generation

Cape Cod Kitty said...

Thank you everyone for the kind and thoughtful comments.
Abby, that is a perfect quote from Emerson and very special.

Poppy said...

I find it so hard to believe that it's been a year since your Dad passed. Your words are so touching and I feel your loss. Big hugs to you. * Sorry I'm so behind on my blog reading. I feel bad that I missed this day for you.