Friday, March 26, 2010

Fridays

Dear Friday,
I really used to love you so much. You woke me up happy, almost always you were a great hair day, and in the evening we would happily get ready to drive off-Cape Saturday morning to see Dad. Now I always feel very sad around you, and don't like that feeling......you remind me of so very many happy times which are now gone forever. I know, I know, it is my choice to let you make me feel this way. Somehow I don't feel strong enough to turn that switch. So for now, I just need to be where I am and think about what was, so I really wish you'd go away and let me be.
Thank you for your understanding, Friday, and someday, I am sure we can be friends again.

And while I'm at it.....PTSD you can go away, too!! Stop terrifying me in the night and robbing me of my sleep, stop consuming my thoughts in the day, stop taking away my smile, and give me back lightness in my spirit. You cause many days to be wasted by riling up my sub-conscious, and making my whole body rigid with fear. You make me startle and my heart race, and the least angry word brings a terrible sick feeling and a racing heart. I want to be done with you, my soul to heal and my dreams to be about the beautiful love which surrounds me now. Thank you LM!

BE GONE WITH YOU.....let the gusty winds take you away today....far far away. May no other woman have to face abuse at the hands of someone she loves.

4 comments:

Happy Days said...

Oh dear. Your having a very bad day and I'm sorry for that. Quit thinking too much and look at the bright side of today! That's an order. You can grieve, but you can't be mean to yourself. There is so much to be happy for. Such as I had snow this morning and now I have blue sky and sunshine and 54 degrees. And you can smile that you are alive today. and that LM loves you maybe as much as Ms G...and that tomorrow when you wake up it will be a new brighter day, and that spring is on it's way and that you have tons of friends who think you are just peachy and love you! Think about that instead!! ...debbie (hugs to you)

Poppy said...

{{{{Hugs}}}}

Thinking of you and hoping tomorrow is a better day.

Kittie Howard said...

Bravo! For saying what's what and diminishing its power. I'm proud of you!

Cape Cod Kitty said...

Thank you my friends. Grief is a process, and it is necessary for it all to rise to the raw surface at times.
Better now, and your caring is so wonderfully palliative.