Friday, March 6, 2009

Reality

Losing a parent just plain hurts, a coldness pervades my soul, sleeplessness haunts, and I do not want to go to work, nor do I want to face the dental surgery which will happen at 3 pm today.
Can you tell I am just not having a good morning? It is a deep dark forest, but there are paths leading to lightness and happier times, I know.
In a bright sunbeam there is the news that daughter, Anne will be coming from FL to attend the funeral and be with the entire family. She always sheds light in her presence and it will be lovely to have all three of my children together as we honor their grandfather. Anne is his first born grandchild and I will always remember the celebration of her birth around the dining room table at Mum and Dad's as we all sat and admired her on the day we came home from the hospital.
Off to work!

3 comments:

Jeff- in the Berkshires said...

Let the hurt and coldness be for a while. Don't fight it or encourage it.
I remember the feeling of being so alone even though I had my wife and kids nearby. When I was at work I would find myself staring off into space.

I came to realize that as long as you have a parent alive you are still a kid, someone's kid. When that parent dies you really do grow up. I came to appreciate more the losses my parents experienced and that has helped me grow.

As it is past 3pm I hope the surgery went well.

The path through the dark forest does get lighter with time and the shadows retreat to their appropriate places.

Enjoy your children and grandchild. They are the light. They are the common thread that connects through you to your dad and mom and their parents.

Be well.

Happy Days said...

To My Daughter

I am not gone, I am changed.
Have faith and please believe me.
God did not take me away from you,
He split the skies and received me.

NOW...
I am an echo in your laughter,
a reflection in your tears,
an extra strength
to help you overcome your fears.

I'm an added ray of sunshine,
more joy for you to share,
a fragrance of the life you live.

Whereever you are - I am there.

Love, Dad

amy in ct said...

i am so sorry for your loss. i try to get on the computer more often these days and i feel so bad that i was not here on the day that this happened.
i lost my dad many years ago, mom is still here after a heart attack.
i think of what shape i will be in when she goes.... it will not be a pretty sight, i am prepared for the worst.

i am sending you huge hugs and hope that your surgery went well.

know that i am thinking about you
amy