Friday, January 10, 2014

Compassion

This little journey off my normal path has been fairly solitary, as, at first, I did everything to avoid others, that they might get the flu.  I've been saved by my love of reading, learning, movies and organizing.  I've caught up greatly on my Netflix list, gotten a lot of rest, and cleaned a few cobwebs from corners.....I do find that my "corners" can become a bit cluttered, literally and figuratively. Unfortunately, just the rest and home remedies were not enough to keep me from falling in to the pit of pneumonia.

 As I began to feel sicker and sicker this week, this terribly independent woman had to ask for help. LM has, of course, done whatever he could, but I was very fearful of him becoming sick, too, and his work has had him traveling far and wide. I'm fortunate to have a nice neighbor with whom I exchange pleasantries every morning on my way out to work. He has a little office just outside my door. On Monday morning I'd gone to work, hopeful I was getting better, but had to return home to my  bed  by 11:30.....late afternoon as he was leaving his office for the day, Keith knocked on my door to see if I was better. There I was in complete dishevelment, and he could see I needed some help. He went to the market and brought me back some things, and also took out my trash for me....I just broke down in tears at his thoughtfulness.His  last words that evening were, "You WILL call the doctor in the morning, right?" He's been checking on me daily.  That little bit of compassion is a gift beyond measure, but I was still doggedly certain I would feel better each day. I was becoming more and more tired, having trouble breathing, and very strangely, staying awake for 2-3 days without sleep. I couldn't go to sleep, no matter what trick I pulled out of my bag. I felt caffeinated, but had none at all, all the while trying to cast the rock off my chest.  I did make the call and then called my dear  son, who drove so far to get me to the doctor. Co-workers, and friends, too, have been texting, e-mailing and calling me frequently and are willing to do anything they can. I have orders to stay out until next Wednesday at the earliest.
I've had 3 visits with my very compassionate doctor's office and staff, and they've been checking on me. This morning, in quite a lovely snowfall, LM came to drive me over, once again. I knew I was not doing well, having trouble breathing, chest pain and very weak. The doctor immediately began a nebulizer treatment which eased out my breath although made me feel quite disoriented and dizzy.  They kept me there for several hours until I stabilized.  Back home, post bloodwork and picking up yet more prescriptions, I have strict orders to call 911 if I have any more breathing issues over the weekend. When my breathing eased out this morning I began sobbing with relief, and compassionate arms and words were applied.  I am so blessed to have this incredible team of medical professionals.
 
My fondest wish right now is to be outside and breathe deeply the beautiful Winter air and WALK.  My wonderful LM did take me by my favorite beaches this morning as we returned from the doctor's.  He knows!  They are iced in right now and so stark in their winter coats.  I felt slightly healed and so loved.

Thank you to everyone. Your compassion and caring is carrying me along.
With LOVE.

PS....Sue, Your offer to come and collect me and bring me to your house so that I could have kitty-love means so  much. Please tell Jaxson his god-mother will come by for a healthy visit and some purrs and pats very soon. You are so dear to me.

4 comments:

Judy said...

Ah--just what you DON'T need is a lungful of cold winter air--trust me on this, please!!! Stay inside with your humidifier going and nice warm air from the furnace. Cold air would constrict your bronchia and make it even harder to breathe! You SHOULD wear something over your nose for warmth just going to and from the car/house/doctor's office. You do not want to have to end up in hospital, do you? There--I am done scolding. The Prednisone will help a lot. Rest!!! Love's ya--

Balisha said...

So glad to hear that you got the help you needed. I was pretty much the same way last year...and I know how scary it can be when you can't breathe.
Take care and get lots of rest and fluids.
Balisha sending prayers.

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Agree with Judy and Balisha,
Now do it.
Stay inside
and get better.
I almost isolate myself and do everything I can to keep from catching something.
No one near
and years ago with something like this I did not think I would make it. But I did...

Retired English Teacher said...

I'm so glad you are better. This was very scary to read. Your symptoms were nothing to mess around with. I'm glad you finally went to the doctor. Continue to monitor your symptoms, call 911 if necessary, stay in, stay warm, and get better. Hugs.