An anvil on my chest upon awakening
Unbearable pressure of unspent tears in my eyes, face and throat
Not wanting to get dressed, go out, talk with others
An irritability and hyper-critical impatience with those I love, namely LM
Making bad decisions about eating
Choking with ineptitude as I attempt to share how this feels with others, and sure that I am just a burden in my grief
Crushing remorse for not being more emotionally stable right now, for making others worry.
A vicious circle
How can my emotions crash so dramatically from one day to the next? Is this common in grief?
Just mumbling aloud here this morning as I struggle to face a day with many shoulds....there is a lot to be done in preparation for Teddy's christening tomorrow and I want to feel all the joy and love that surrounds this special time. Somehow I will.
I JUST PLAIN MISS DAD!
Saturday was our day....a lovely ride, sharing all our news, having lunch out. Little presents.
He would be so proud today to know that Teddy's christening is tomorrow, and that Sam, Trish and family are right now cycling their way from Boston to Craigville (100 miles) for the Best Buddies fund raiser.