Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Purring and Chirps

I've absconded myself to my house, away from the dogs for a while, enjoying the sound of Ms G purring from across the room....she sits on the guest bed staring me down with her "sweet" eyes, cardinals and many other bird songs are just outside my window in the lovely early evening light. The sun came out today after many weeks of darkness.....or is that just my perception?
There has been much progress on my pre-sewing preparation for the quilts I am making, and, yes, I do feel about 75% better. Grateful!

Sleep has been evasive because of a certain barking dog but that will end on Thursday.

My oldest brother will have surgery tomorrow to repair damage from diverticulitis. Thinking positive thoughts for his quick recovery. He is very special to me, and to all our family. He will be in good hands.

I made a call to hospice about finding a grief support group. So far, no groups fit into the schedule of a working person, at least one who works 8-5 pm. I will keep looking. The past week or so has shown me that I need to find a way to sort some things out and I have always gained a lot from group interaction. It saved me when my life was nearly lost to domestic violence. Aside from writing a little here, I have not shared with many people just how much pain I have over losing Dad....everyone always comes back with "he had a good long life, he didn't suffer too much, you were a wonderful daughter, etc. That is really nice from one perspective, but what do I do with the actual emotional pain of the loss, other than just feel it? I am retreating from life into the pain and feel a group interaction would get me out of myself somewhat. It is getting tedious.

Thanks for the recipes for the graham cracker cakes. I plan to try making one this weekend!

LM is at the beach tonight.....he teaches a very popular class called "Take a Course, Catch a Fish" and tonight is the class field trip to actually apply what they have learned over the 8 weeks. The course focuses mainly on saltwater fishing so tonight they will be searching for striped bass and blue fish. It is always a fun night and he tries so hard to see that they actually do catch some fish! I am so happy that it is a nice evening and the wind is in their favor. LM fished there last night and was successful, so he hopes tonight will be the same.

Time to tend to the dogs....I cannot believe that Memorial Day is coming up. We will observe it on the actual date....as far as putting flowers on Mum and Dad's graves.


One Woman's Journey said...

Thoughts and prayers are with you this early morning.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry you are feeling so badly about the loss of your dad. I can only tell you that for me it lasted quite awhile. Little things like a song on the radio or a smell, or someone who looked like dad would put me to tears. It took me a year and a half before I would quit crying over little things like that. It also helped me to put his picture and a candle in the dinning room and light it when we had family dinners. I think greiving is a long process. And if you had domestic violance in a relationshop your dad might have been the only man you believed in and relied on to be steadfast and loving. After six months I made a list of all the things that I remembered that brought a smile to me. Just a word or two. Then everyday I would look back on one and think and remember. It was fun and it helped me. My dad and I were very, very close and to lose him was quite devastating to me. I understand where you are and hope you find a way to help you cope. It isn't easy for sure...debbie

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to wish you a Happy Memorial Day Weekend!! Drive Safe if you go see your grandson!! We leave bright and early for the mountains tomorrow!! yea! am excited...debbie