Murphy's law prevails here in the land, sans Ms G. After the sublime dancing feather sunset on Sunday, my heart seemed light and I returned home ready to start a new week with not too much planned except to have dinner with a dear friend on Monday evening, have my car detailed, and prepare for guests to stay at my house this coming weekend. Work was rip-roaring crazy all day Monday (I'm always at my best on crazy workdays), and I set out at 5 to drive to Hyannis to meet Debra for dinner. Unbeknownst to me, she had called my cell phone in the afternoon to leave a message that she couldn't meet me as planned. Something told her she better call me again at 5:15 to be sure I got her message. That phone call took the wind out of my sails, and hit my grief button with rapier force. Debra has been battling breast cancer, and Monday she was told that it has come back in her bones . She is in pain, and experiencing a tough range of emotions. After we ended the call, I could not stop sobbing. There is loss everywhere around me, and I am not coping well with it these days.
Tuesday I awoke crying and really struggled to go to work. Somehow I managed to get my game face on and get through the day. As usual, upon arrival at work, I turned on my computer, and within minutes I had a black screen with gibberish and then nothing. Crashed! I managed to get through the day with a borrowed computer and a promise that our techie would be in Thursday to revive mine. Meanwhile, I struggled along with no contacts, e-mail and all sorts of other annoyances. Tuesday night, I never went to sleep, as my mind was racing, tears were falling, and thinking was askew. I spent the night pacing, writing, and cleaning. There were some not nice things said to LM as well!
Yesterday was not much better with my workday becoming more and more frustrating with the computer issues. There were NICE things said to LM, though.
Last night I slept, woke still a little shakey, but amidst tears, got myself to my post and actually had a fairly decent morning followed by a long walk (hip pain just about gone) at lunch. When I came back from the walk and sat at my desk, I was approached by two very grim faces (two techies), who broke the news that my computer is 100% lost to me. The magnitude of that loss was like another death and the impact is still sinking in, the tears are flowing, and I am beyond frustrated. The worst part is losing my entire MS Outlook workplace.....all my reminders and appointments , all my e-mail, ALL MY CONTACTS, and also, on a personal level, all my fave blog shortcuts and names, as well as many photos. I am sure the list of losses will continue to mount. I found out that they had been in the process of setting up back-up for everyone's Outlook but mine had not been done yet. GRRRRRR. I told the two bearers of bad tidings that they reminded me of two doctors coming into the exam room to give me the worst possible DX! We laughed through my invisible tears. I pride myself in my ability to give anyone in the office an answer, contact, etc at a seconds notice and now I will be unable to do that and it hurts. They will have to understand but it won't be easy as I am command central. It has taken years to amass all the data. There was a lot of data saved on the main server, for which I am thankful, but that only slightly assuages my angst. I know I am probably way over the top about this, but it is all tied in with my grief and just where I am right now.
SOOOOOO, just as this dreadful workday was ending, one of my other dear dear friends called me to tell me that one of his very close relatives had just died. That did it, and I could not hold back the tears. Good that many had gone home. Nick has been through so much lately....he was laid-off (worked at my company), and both his parents have died in the past few months. He had been helping an aunt care for his uncle who died today and it was being done at a huge emotional cost. He not only was devastated with grief when he called me (we are very close confidants), but he is sick with some awful virus. Poor guy.
Thus my tale of woe.....just going to feel it all, do what I can to help those who really need it right now, and know this too shall pass.
To all my readers, if you don't hear from me on your blogs, it is because I have lost my link to you. Some I could remember, others not. Leave me a message.
From the land of Ms G, AKA, LM's house, comes word that working on the computer is impossible because she insists on sitting on the keyboard or the mouse, and she is always trying to "catch the cards" when he plays FreeCell. Poor baby.......he says she is coming back to me on Sunday night. Uh, huh!