Wednesday, January 19, 2011


John has been spared returning to jail. This is literally his last chance, but it now becomes a jail sentence for LM, and means drastic changes for all our lives. The court has mandated John to attend a daily, non-residential program for repeat youthful offenders. He will be required to wear a monitoring bracelet, and live under some very strict rules. The only place acceptable to the court for John to live is with LM and Ms G!
We are very relieved that John has been spared another nearly 2 year stint in jail, where no rehabilitation at all is offered, and that he has the possibility of a lot of help from this program. Both LM and I tend to be very positive thinkers but in this case we must be hyper-vigilant. My challenge will be to support LM and John with love, caring, encouragement and nurturing, while maintaining a non-judgemental and respectable distance, so they can work this out in their own way according to the court's mandate.
It was so strange yesterday when we got the word on what would happen, LM's first comment was that John would now be sleeping on the bed that is now home to Ms G's cave (a place she created for herself upstairs out of an old quilt). She will adjust, we are sure, but we hate having her world rocked, just as much as we do having ours turned upside down...for awhile, there will be no more of our cozy weekends. Together time will have a different form.

It is better than having John back behind bars, his life wasting away, and watch LM's heart and spirit fading. We are grateful.

With my resolve to stay on my own track during this time, I'm beginning a new meditation class tomorrow night. I love the group dynamic so this should be great and it is literally 1/2 mile from home. A gift just when needed.

From a cold and wintry day here, I wish everyone well and happy.


Anonymous said...

I'm sitting here thinking about the outcome. Thinking about what it means to you and LM. A double edged sword type of thing. Good news, bad news. I know this will be the hardest for LM. Having his son there 24/7 is going to be very challanging to say the least. In a few weeks, John will get getting tired of staying at home all the time and I'm sure tempers will rise. I wish them good luck with all my heart. For you and LM, this time of life is supposed to be fun and enjoyable. I guess we never know what life is going to throw at us. Perhaps you can catch a few alone hours at your house when LM needs to escape his. I hope for the best for all three of you. It won't be easy...."HUGS"...debbie

Linda said...

Oh my, I don't know how I feel about this. It seems to me you and LM are more concerned about John and his future than John is. That concerns me.

I wish the very best for you but this will not be easy for any of you.

Erin @ I Heart New England said...

I'm so happy for you that he doesn't have to go to jail. Though, I know this will be a very trying time for all of you regardless. I pray he'll change his ways once he is surrounded by your unwavering support.

Thinking of you and your family... ♥

judemiller1 said...

That's the first thing I thought of--no more cozy weekends for you and LM--always someone else around. Oh well--if anyone can work it out--you can. I hope John does well in his program.

Retired English Teacher said...

Yes, I think you must practice love with some healthy detachment. I do pray that John realizes the break he has been given and does the right thing.

mrspao said...

Hope that this next phase for John turns out better and that he starts fully responding to the help he will get from rehabilitation. It must be very hard from you and LM.

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Cat Lady of Parkdale said...

Maybe Ms G will help John to put his life back together. Cats are so wise.