Saturday, December 11, 2010

Cultivating Healing

Having had enough of the Wayward Son expressway, I've chosen to take an exit and drive slowly on the back roads, take a look around in what little daylight we have these days and just cultivate a new appreciation for the beauty nature gives us in winter (if only I had recorded the rustling sound of the grasses above)....not even winter here yet but that's to be debated, as the thermometer denies it could still be autumn. The trees are bare, as are our emotions, the shadows so long in the lovely light, and here and there we find roses still blooming. I wonder at their strength to still seek the light and flourish. Each day my desk is bathed in sunlight for many hours, warming my soul, and I am profoundly grateful for the strength I have found to detach with love from the tests we're handed right now.

John is receiving treatment and counseling, seeing his attorney, helping his amazing Dad a little, and awaiting a court hearing next week. We may have found a residential program in which he could thrive if he wishes. It is all up to him, and the courts. Meanwhile, I choose to walk along side all this, keeping that high point of the path a barrier to protect my own sanity. Detachment with love is holding the hands of those I love, as they make their own decisions without my unsolicited advice and judgement. It is also keeping my eyes busy observing the beauty which can nourish and heal. It is everywhere: sunrises, every little twig across my path wearing a furry coat of moss, to the sound of crisp dry leaves skittering across the street in the winter wind, and in the smiles and voices of my dear co-workers during the course of each day. Surely it will make my time at LM's bright and happy, and especially, today as we celebrate Teddy's 2nd birthday, family all around. There will be laughter, early Christmas beauty, an Elmo cake, LM hand in mine, and other fun.
I've some of the endurance keeping the Main St roses in bloom.


Kittie Howard said...

Big smiles (of relief) on this end that John is taking positive steps. Yes, it all depends on the courts, but a compassionate judge gives chances, so there's hope. And you, my dear, are doing a fabulous job!

Happy birthday to Teddy!

Anonymous said...

I believe, Ms Marcia, that you are one plucky, strong, and fun individual! I admire you for what all you've been through and for what you are going through now in both your personal life, health issues and LM. You have spunk my friend!! I pray for you and hope that all of you see brighter days ahead! Merry Christmas and Happy 2 nd Birthday to little Teddy! Hard to believe HE'S TWO!! TIME FLIES!! ...debbie

Erin @ I Heart New England said...

Lots of hugs being sent your way ♥

Linda said...

Sounds like you are doing much better with the situation. That's very good. They probably need your strength along side them on this journey more than they need your advice. They need someone with an objective view along side their subjective view.

But in the end, it's John who has to step up and be responsible.

Retired English Teacher said...

I ;ove your comment about detachment with love. I am learning these same lessons.