Thursday, February 20, 2014

Loving the Sunshine; Before and After

Update - Friday, February 21 - I will be having the ultrasound done this afternoon at 5 pm at Cape Cod Hospital....have to wait because I had eaten a little breakfast. Have to have some fast time before this test, so no water or food until after the fact. I'm resting  in the meanwhile, and my "nurse" of the feline variety is taking care of the underside of the bedcovers forcing me to the couch. Oh well, I am prone to sacrificing for the benefit of our dear Ms G. More news as I get it........your love and kindness are carrying me through. Namaste!

This morning I had an appointment for bloodwork and then another to meet with my wonderful physician, Mary. After the stop at the lab, I had extra time before seeing Mary, so drove to the end of a beautiful country road in E. Orleans. In the midst of the serenity, I saw myself in this old cedar tree - a few branches healing from this rugged winter ( I grew up on Twin Cedars Farm!). This lovely cove was teaming with wildlife and with the car windows open, I let in the warmish sunshine, and took a series of healing breaths, as the nearly invisible sparrows sung to me loudly from within the tough cedar boughs. Beyond the tree, and out of reach of my little camera, a graceful great blue heron was fishing amidst a large raft of black ducks.
 
Snow is still in most places.



 
Not many more words can describe the beauty and peace of this spot and it stayed with me as I faced some scary news from Mary.....I'll share with you the see saw emotions of this day.....First, an e-mail I sent out to family and friends when I got home...
 
"Well, here, I am, back from seeing my doctor Mary and am at Lou's. Sort of in a state of shock.  Mary says this is a very serious, even grave, condition and I am nowhere near out of the woods. No work for at least two weeks until we know more about why this happened. A large clot remains in my right lung (others in the left but not as bad). That large clot is partially blocking the vena cava, the artery that carries purified blood to the heart, thus shortness of breath and weakness. Mary has referred me to a pulmonary specialist and I will see him on 3/4.  They may do something like clot busting (no idea what it is). Mary is ordering other tests, too as there are other things involved. Meanwhile, I am cautioned to rest, and do just minimal things around the house. VNA is still going to come in for another week. She was so kind but very concerned. After about 3 months, I will be sent to a hematologist to attempt to determine why this clotting occurred. Mary says I am very healthy otherwise....good BP, etc so this shouldn't happen. It is a puzzle to her. She said those that usually have these events have swollen feet/legs, high BP, etc.
So we just wait. I am determined to be OK, but for now am exhausted and concerned. Keeping my spirits high.....breathing!
So sorry for this awful news...I just cannot even stand to be on the phone." 
........
E-mail 2 this evening..........

"Some relatively good news for a change!! After the news I received earlier today, I spent a very scared afternoon contemplating what might happen to me, but this evening at 6:30, I received a very long and helpful phone call from my physician, Mary. Mary had just spent almost an hour at the end of her very busy workday, consulting with the pulmonary specialist who will see me on March 4.  Indeed I have been in a life threatening situation but healing is underway!! He had reviewed all my records at length and told Mary that my body was doing a great job of reabsorbing the large clots in my lungs, especially the one affecting my heart and he felt that as long as I remained resting, took the Coumadin (bloodthinner), and had frequent monitoring, I would make a complete recovery.  Also, the severe abdominal pain I am having is caused by a very swollen spleen. That is because the spleen is working overtime helping in the re-absorption of the blood clots. To be sure of that, I will have an ultrasound next week to monitor that progress. All being said, he also felt the clotting issue was definitely caused by being so very sick for so long with the H1N1/pneumonia. All in all, my body has been doing exactly what it needs to do to heal.
Thank you everyone for your love and concern, and I am so sorry to be a cause for worry.  

Much love,
Marcia/Kitty/Mama"
 
So, this was my day.. lows, highs, beauty and love. I feel so much better tonight. Thank you all for being there, too. I'm resting, and ever so grateful. I do feel the clarity that emerged from this day began with that brave cedar tree. "She's" making it through this tough winter, too.
Hoping the little trip to the seashore brings peace and clarity to you all, as well.

 
 

9 comments:

Judy said...

I knew you were gravely ill--I know about these things and I was so scared, BUT--the Pulmonologist knows what he is talking about!!! You must rest to let your body heal itself and it is trying very hard to do that. Our bodies are so incredibly miraculous in how they take care of themselves. Maybe by the time of your visit to him, all will be so much better. That flu, especially the H1N1 can be life threatening. I hope you get a flu shot next October. Love's ya...

David D said...

Good Morning Kitty !
You are in our thoughts and prayers each day. Wishing you a complete and quick recovery !!
Love, David & Ron

debbie said...

I sat a little stunned as I read this. Blood clots are so very dangerous, but your Pulmonologist after reading all your history appears to have a good handle on this. Just rest, rest, rest!! Hopefully by March 4th it will have been mostly absorbed by your body. Gosh, you are a tough ole' bird!! You will get through this too. Love you, will keep you in my prayers double time and know you will be much better by March.
Am also glad Doc Mary is taking such excellent care of you!...love, deb

Balisha said...

Hi Kitty...Hard to read your news. Just remember that you have been in all of our prayers. As Judy said...the body does miraculous things to take care of itself. Now, you need rest and follow the Drs. orders.Please keep us informed....Love and prayers from Balisha

Judy said...

GOOD! I am glad you are getting the scan! There was something on the news the other night about the Cape Cod Hospital and I wondered if that was the one you were in. Let us know, Precious One.

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Remembering you in prayer and sending healing thoughts your way.
Heal soon.
You have a good doctor..

Marsha from Massachusetts said...

What a roller coaster! Good mojo heading your way!

Sharon said...

The waiting and not knowing is so hard, and then to get news that is frightening is just as hard. Keeping a good thought that each test will reveal more healing and all will be well by spring. Thinking of you ~

Retired English Teacher said...

I think my reaction to this after the shock is that you are very fortunate that you are healthy and that your body, while it seems to have been turning against you, was also working hard to do what it had to do to keep you alive. I can only imagine the roller coaster you have been on. REST. REST. REST. You are in my prayers, truly you are.