Tunnelvision

Hello everyone....I guess I will be musing from the tunnel for awhile as the symptoms do not seem to be abating to any great degree. I am adjusting to this status but do not like feeling so muted.  It feels like I am living behind the cobwebs of the Adams' family manse, and cannot quite part them enough to see clearly, while I can hear a lot of bizarre and crazy happenings.  It's scary as I navigate through these times, but I know it will eventually be OK.  The birds are singing loudly, to my delight every morning now, and although it is wintery cold here, we have glorious healing sunshine at midday when I take lunch.

 Along with the physical struggle of adjusting to the heart medication, is the emotional struggle to stay detached with love from the terrible struggles going on daily for LM and Kristi.  I cannot even begin to detail the challenges so I won't try. The still impending death of Kristi's mother, coupled with draconian legal woes is the cruelest twist of fate in which I have ever been involved.  For, LM, at the center of a struggle to ensure his disabled daughter's future, it is devastating, yet, each day, he gets up anew, and faces it, does what he can to struggle against unreturned phone calls, somewhat fruitless efforts to unwind government red tape, and still maintain a loving and secure environment for Kristi.  He does the same for me, keeping me in the loop, assuring me we will get through this.  There are times he cracks, and we are there for each other. There are many completely sleepless  nights happening here for all concerned. Managing stress is not easy or relatable for many developmentally disabled people, and I have been so saddened to observe Kristi's struggle. She can only frown, pace, show anger, and ask questions we cannot answer over and over and over.

Meanwhile, through all of this, Ms G, our hero, is helping LM and Kristi....she entertains with her hilarious antics.  Last week, because her coat is looking quite scruffy, I decided to introduce her to a new and healthier cat food (Fromm's), and she was pretty funny with her sulky hanging the head over the bowl ways for a few days.  She is finally eating it and loving the new food.  For the last 8 years she has only eaten cat treats and I knew it was not the healthiest plan - not to mention expensive, so it was time for this change. She cuddles very closely with LM everynight and pats his face with her paw in the morning to wake him - sometimes at 3 am, though.  She's also enjoying the ever slow arrival of Spring and loves gazing out at the birds each day.

Thank you so much for all the kind thoughts and notes. Love will prevail and the sisters' reunion in Canada is now less than 2 months away!!  We have exciting plans for our trip, especially on the way back when we will spend a few nights in a cottage on the shores of a beautiful lake in the Adirondacks!  I'll write more about those plans soon.