My View Monday

Just before sunset tonight I decided to take a walk down by the Oyster River to see this project which my company designed and is building. It is only a 5 minute walk from my house and the air, although cold, was refreshing as I attempted to shake the cobwebs from my head....it has been a ragged week or so and I am still not feeling right physically or emotionally. As is my pattern, if I walk and exercise daily, I will get back to myself soon.....I hope.


View down the Oyster River from the front of the new house.
A shellfishing grant
Looking across the river
My reward as I turned around to walk home
As always, I am filled with gratitude for being able to walk to such beauty.

Florida Kitten Report:
Looks like Theo and Izzie will be moving on up to the big house as soon as they are old enough to be spayed/neutered.......pictures coming tomorrow. They are growing so fast.

LM Report:
He is doing so well....started his Cardio Rehab program this morning and will now be attending 3x's a week. We had a very busy and a bit frenetic weekend, complicated by me not feeling well, but we managed to keep the thread of our love taut, despite the fact that it is a full moon!!

Making the Effort

I've been thinking a lot about friendship the past few weeks and months and wanted to share a bit of the struggle I have found with finding, nurturing and keeping friendships with women.
Growing up I watched my mother maintain lovely relationships with her women friends. These women were an integral part of our lives, and one became my dear godmother. I longed to emulate her stylish nature and interesting life. She adored cats and devoted a lot of her life to caring for animals and when she died, left a large sum of money to establish an animal shelter which still thrives today. I have similar relationships today, but distance, the shortness of spare time and various other life situations, have me in a spot where I do not have a friend close-by whom I can just call and say "let's do a movie and dinner". I want that and yet, I know I have bailed out on opportunities to have just this sort of friendship. I make excuses....too busy, too tired, etc. Why, I do not know....I ask if it is just the pace of life today, as often I really am very tired. I do consider my children, siblings and my father, to be my dearest and closest friends, so I am not completely alone, and for certain, I have the dearest of all friendships in the love I share with LM, but there is still something missing.

Last year, just before my relationship with LM blossomed, I signed up to take a course at the adult education program where I worked for 24 years. It was done as an effort to strengthen my circle of women friends, as I had felt quite isolated since moving so far out on the Cape. It was a support group for divorced and single women led by a therapist, also divorced. It was a very interesting group of about 15 women. Just weeks before the series of 8 classes began, I had my first date with LM and was well on my way to being madly in love by the time of the first class. I stayed with it, and every class was so enriching. There was comfort to be had among these women who also felt isolated, were struggling with the dating scene, managing life as a single woman, and really needing a network. The hardest part for me was the follow-through, making contact outside the classes and keeping the friendships which blossomed in the class. I am a master of talking myself out of doing things, getting to the point of dread when I have made a commitment, and yet, without fail, when I make the effort and force myself to go out with one friend or a group, I always have fun and reap great rewards. I just don't get why it is so hard to overcome the walls I put up at times.
Anyway, the therapist who led the group seemed, at first, to be standoffish and I wasn't sure whether we had made a contact, but at the last class, she made a point of telling me she would like to get together with me sometime. We made a dinner date and have been having dinner at least once a month since then and it is so nice. I found out that she has some serious health issues she is dealing with - very bravely, and we have formed a nice little friendship. I have come to admire her courage and also her dedication to continue running her classes for women in need....right now she is doing a class on "Women in a life Transition". This lovely friendship has given me a lot and I know it is dear to her as well. She has shared my happiness, and the near tragedy with LM and been an enthusiastic cheerleader for us. Each time I find myself thinking I should just cancel dinner, etc, I remind myself of the gifts of her friendship, right when I needed it, and I know it has done the same for my friend. I just needed to push myself.
Another really nice thing came of pushing myself to enroll and follow through on that class. As I mentioned above, some of us from the class still get together about once a month, and the other women are mostly single and searching. One of them is a lovely 37 year old teacher, and I just happened to know a wonderful 47 year old architect at my job who was also searching...now they are a very happy couple, all because I stepped out of my comfort zone.
This past week, I have been helping a long term friend who had a hip replacement. She lives quite a distance from me, but chose to have her rehab at a great facility here in Chatham. It has been so wonderful to see her each day and sit and chat about all we have experienced together through the years. It will be sad to see her go back home and for us to know we will only see each other a few times a year, but it has reinforced the fact that I need to keep myself open to friendship, to hold out my hand and hope.

Kitten News

Bringing you the latest installment on the Florida kittens.....the names have been slightly changed.....they are now Theo (longhair, male on right) and Izzie (shorthair female). They are still living in the cottage but their endearing ways are inching them closer and closer to the big house.
Very busy this week.....tending to a friend with a new hip replacement, work doubly busy, and planning to assist my brother and family with a long distance bike ride beginning on Sat. They will ride from Boston to Craigville Beach on the Cape for Best Buddies This is the second year they have done this ride and it is an amazing event. LM and I will help with logistics and be there to cheer them on when they ride in to the finish.

LM had a very successful fishing field trip to West Dennis Beach last night. The students from his last three classes gathered at 5:30 pm and with LM's guidance, put their classroom time to use preparing gear, casting, and many catching fish on what was a beautiful evening with a glorious sunset. I so wanted to be there to get photos but my post-surgical friend needed me to be here.
There were many striped bass caught - happy students, proud teacher! Just to think, just after those classes began, LM nearly died, and now he is out there doing what he loves in his "church" - nature. As he was driving away from the class last night and heading home we shared a touching and loving phone conversation savoring the evening's events, our love and a few tears of joy.

A Perfect Mother's Day Weekend

Amidst what was a very busy weekend, with demands from many directions, I can honestly say I feel like I have been immersed in a cocoon of love, gentleness, warm sun and loving arms giving me effortless ease to accomplish all that was needed the past few days.
LM was more his pre-heart attack self than ever this weekend!! From the moment we got together on Saturday, he was "with me" and wanting to talk about his awareness of things missing between us and how determined he is to bring them back and to have things even better. Once again I was hit between the eyes and in the heart with why I love him so much. His ability to share his feelings, his struggles with said feelings and to address what needs to change is one more gift he brings to my life. Without me saying a word about how all the changes have affected me, he began conversation on this subject and we were both able to talk frankly and feel resolution.
Every minute we shared in the last 36 hours or so was such fun and within all we accomplished - house sitting two active dogs and caring for my boss's large house, visiting a dear friend who just had major surgery, and a myriad other chores, we laughed and found beauty everywhere.
Today we had a nice walk in Sandwich with my son, Jason, then shared a lovely lunch, followed by a visit with LM's daughter, Kristi. In between we spent time renewing by the ocean and watching the tremendous surf which is roaring here due to a northeast storm that has been hanging around. We also did some interesting birdwatching and found a nest with baby cardinals (pointed out to us by Ms. G, by the way) in a holly bush just outside the TV room window and I now have warblers in the privet hedges outside my window. They are stopping by on their annual flight to Canada. Their green/yellow plumage blends in well with the colors of Spring but we heard their beautiful songs and were able to spot them up close.
On a bit of a sad note, the baby cardinals disappeared from the nest overnight last night. The parents remain and we are guessing the babies were taken by a hawk whom we have seen lurking about. This is nature in its rawest form but we were buoyed to see the loving parents feeding each other sunflower seeds today.
Hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day. I felt wonderfully celebrated today, as I enjoyed calls and flowers from my two girls, time with my son, and LM's love, but beneath it all, was a lot of remembrance and gratitude for my mother, gone 7 years now but a part of my everyday and as close as a glance at my own hands. Thank you, Mama. You gave me eyes to view the beauty in this world and a heart to hold its treasures.

May Flowers

Everyone watches this house and garden. The house and the surrounding fence are covered in pale pink roses in June and July.
This house has a full time gardener and in late summer has the most beautiful hollyhocks I have ever seen. The neighbors here all have beautiful gardens, too. A little competition, maybe??
Espaliered apple trees

A lovely pink blossom on the espaliered apple tree
Grass is getting greener!
Anyone know what this is???
Primroses at "The Artful Hand Gallery
The Drawing Room Gallery, owned by my friend, Sharon
A Drawing Room welcome
Taking you on my May 1st walk continues...these are just a few of the flowers, and as one picture shows, it is still cold here and the trees are not leafed out yet!


Florida Kitten Update (see Shining Through and Lucky Kittens 5/4/08) : They are now named Ivan and Izzie and have the full run of "their" cottage. I hear they have been pretty wild, funny, and loving. They are at the "stick to your legs like velcro with their needle-like claws" stage. Will they move on up to the big house, or not? Stay tuned. David returns from the Bahamas next week! Meanwhile Anne has full kitten and feeding the quail duty!

A May Day Walk

It was very late afternoon when I set out for my daily walk and just too beautiful not to capture so many beautiful sights. I especially love the one just above here which shows a shellfisherman returning his boat to his mooring in the Mitchell River just off Stage Harbor.
Within 6 weeks the town will be filled with summer residents and day trippers. It is a viatl link in our economy but the population swells from 6000 to 15,000+. I really love to see others enjoy this beautiful place and I feel grateful that I can experience a walk like this one in all seasons of the year. Missing from this post are the bird songs as I passed the many conservation areas, not to mention the ever present cries of the gulls, the lapping waves, and the many spring flowers
(to be featured in another post).
Hope you enjoyed this little tour.

Shining Through and Lucky Kittens

The past few days here have been cold, dark and rainy, yet so many nice things have happened that it feels like the sun is shining brightly. So many nice things have been happening.
For starters, my daughter, Anne and husband, David who live in Ocala, FL, rescued these two tiny kittens from the side of the road a few days ago. They have been cleaned up, nourished and loved and are living in a cottage on Anne and David's property to avoid transmitting disease to their sweet cats Bella and Tig. Anne's goal is to find homes for these two sweet babies. This photo was taken right after they were rescued so they look a bit scared but within minutes they were playing, adapting to a litter box and eating. Lucky little ones. David would like to keep them but Anne thinks 4 cats is too many. Time will tell! A & D have such loving hearts!

For years, my sisters and I (4 of us) have wanted to plan a reunion....last one was 1991 in Houston...now, thanks to the checks recently sent to stimulate the economy and the generosity of LM, I have a ticket to go to Seattle on August 19 and at least 3 of the sisters will be together in a place I have always dreamed of seeing. Now over the next 3.5 months, I will await the trip with delicious anticipation.

On Friday evening, my son Jason and his wife, Alison, who are expecting their first baby after many years of trying, went to have the first ultrasound done and this morning I heard the delightful reports of seeing the baby's feet! They have decided not to learn the gender until birth. Alison has some morning sickness but is doing very well otherwise. Joy, joy...and finally the little baby clothing I have had secreted away will be put to use.

At long last, LM and I had 24 hours of peaceful together time this weekend and it was heavenly. The dialogue about what has happened to our relationship, especially to LM, continues to yield more settled feelings and acknowledgments of how our love has matured. Saying good-bye is easier, and we both now feel strong as we go our separate ways to fulfill our regular life chores and interests. We laughed a lot!!!

This morning I left the Cape early to do errands and to visit Dad. It was a lovely day, despite torrential rain and darkness. Lunch with Dad at his assisted living residence was delicious and we shared lively and interesting conversation. His long life is such a gift to my family and especially to me today. Often, I leave him feeling sad but today I was filled with the zest for life which he exudes. He was having a little nap as I left, but would soon wake to attend a lively piano concert. He's setting such a good example by being fully engaged in life!

Another highlight of my weekend, was a trip to my local consignment shop. I've always been a believer in recycling nice clothes and often take things to consign and earn credit to use when I need it. My Spring/Summer wardrobe is sorely lacking so while LM worked on preparing a presentation he was to give today (with Ms G tucked right in close, by the way), I stepped out to see if there were some new items with "my name on them". My intuition served me well as I walked in the door to see a perfect Eileen Fisher outfit waiting just for me...and it now hangs in my closet and will be a great asset this summer and many to come. It is a lovely shade of purple, in that beautiful soft Fisher linen. Her clothes are really cut to flatter women and endure timelessly. The dress is a simple below the knee a-line shift and the jacket has a sweet mandarin collar.
So, a happy weekend all around....great conversations with family and friends, time to myself, perfect quality time with LM and a happy heart......I hope everyone else had the same!
Come back tomorrow evening as I have some lovely "walk around Chatham" pictures to post.