Unrest

The adjustment to life without her mother, begins for Kristi, and us.  We were uncertain how Kristi would react and express herself about her mother's death, and it is, as with any loss, a twisting turning road.  Yesterday LM's sister came to visit, and they all came to my house for the afternoon and a dinner. So nice to be together....as LM and his sister refelcted on a miasma of memories, I could see Kristi in the depths of grief. We will be paying close attention to her needs and doing what we can. Hospice has offered counseling so we will be taking her there. She wants to spend a lot of time sorting through things at her home she shared with her mother.  We are trying to measure the amount of time she spends alone there just yet.  Today I will take her walking and see if we can find some nice spring flowers and then walk along the beach. There is so much to do for LM....legal and otherwise, and he needs some time alone to think things through, do paperwork, etc. One day at a time is all we can do.

I continue to walk around in a fog and deal with the intermittent 4-5 hr periods of a drugged feeling that contorts my thinking and body into a place of such awkwardness that it feels like I am being forced to walk with my shoes on the wrong feet.  My thinking becomes black and every move is an effort.  There is an anvil on my shoulders, and someone is banging on the roof of my mouth.  My next doctor visit is April 29, and I am telling her that I need to come off this drug. I am waiting to stop it as the contraindications say it shouldn't be stopped without medical assistance. We shall see.

Meanwhile, our trip to Canada and the sisters' reunion is now 37 days away. LM and I are doing a countdown!!

We are still awaiting some sun here on our ocean peninsula. The cold wind and grayness is harsh on top of grief and health issues.

Love to all....