Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Change

Life is living up to its promise that it will always be one of change, challenge, and adaptability.  It is a good thing that as I age, acceptance becomes easier.  Our lives have taken a major turn and we are now parenting a 44 year old developmentally challenged girl, LM's lovely daughter, Kristi.  On a daily basis she is teaching me to have more patience than I ever knew possible, to smile, even when your heart is breaking, and enabling me to see her father through new eyes, as the incredibly loving and patient man I love with all my heart.  Kristi is living with LM right now as her mother lays dying of cancer in a local nursing facility.  Ellen most likley will not live  until Christmas, and is so bitter and angry that she tests patience at every turn.  Today we had hoped she would agree to do a will and power of attorney, but she refuses adamantly to provide and prepare for her disabled daughter's future.  We will continue to hold out hope that she will have a change of heart. Our goal is to provide a life filled with new experiences and happiness for Kristi, and to provide for her future.  Right now it has effected many changes for us, as I no longer stay at LM's on the weekends because the house is very small and it just becomes overwhelming.  We are doing this for Kristi and it will be OK.

Meanwhile, LM, Kristi and I had a very quiet but most delicious Thanksgiving together which we followed by taking a plate to Kristi's Mom.  LM and I had a great time preparing what I think was the best turkey I ever cooked. The day after, I took Kristi with me on errands, thrift shopping, some beach visits and we had such fun. It was heavenly to have the 4 days off from work. On Saturday, we worked on finally raking and clearing the yard and garden, and doing a lot of cutting back. Still more to do but the bulk of the leaves is gone. We followed that busy day up with a birthday dinner for my daughter, Sara, and enjoyed a fun evening having she and Samantha in house. 

Unfortunately, there are no photos because Blogger says I can no longer post them unless I pay a fee. The fee will take some consideration.

Winter has begun to chill us a bit here but we love the change of seasons and the stark beauty we have, especially the very late day skies, as I walk to my car after work. The first few steps toward my car find me inhaling a restorative breath of air, and giving new life to my day.

Love to all!

9 comments:

Beverly said...

I always say the only constant in our lives is change. I hope this change works out for all.

Kittie Howard said...

OMG, KItty, what a difficult situation. I cannot even begin to imagine how frustrated you must feel as Kristi will need considerable care forever and the mother is in survival's denial. My heart goes out to you. But, your grace under pressure is an inspiration. You are truly a generous, kind, and giving lady. I understand why everyone around you loves you so much.

Bouncing back on this end of the Coast. Because of the age difference and family hubris, Candy and I were just becoming sisters for real, not just the blood part. But this pre-existing condition and insurance were the real culprits. Oh, but the mentality frustrates. But from your comment, I know you understand. For one's heart to stop - oh, dear God, your blood must have run cold. So terrifying. I sighed with relief that smiles came at the end.

Well, we'll see what the next few weeks bring. We're no longer a divided nation. We've got to return to the Clinton era taxes. I don't understand why so many people with little are championing so few with so much. Boggles my mind!

One day at a time, my friend. HUGS!

Kittie Howard said...

Oops, what's this about Google charging for posting photos?

linda eller said...

Bless your heart, you certainly have your work cut out for you, but I feel you have her best interests in mind. I post pictures every day and have never been asked to pay for anything on Blogger. Hope that isnt something coming to all of us.

Happy Days said...

I guess LM wasn't able to get Kristi her own place with others. I am sorry for both of them, as it would have been so nice for her and LM to know she was taken care of and safe. Perhaps something will open up next year. Meanwhile, I feel for you and LM and I agree with Kitty, you are a most generous person with tons of patience and love. Hoping you have a Merry Christmas! ...debbie

Happy Days said...

I'm sorry that LM wasn't able to get Kristi in a home of her own. Perhaps something will open early next year. In the meantime, I Bless you Both for your time and patience. I know it will be another change for you and LM. I agree with Kitty, you are the most caring and pationate person with so much patience. God Bless you for that. But, love sometimes doesn't come easy...however, I do believe you and LM are due for a little break. Think of you often!...debbie xo

One Woman's Journey - a journal being written from Woodhaven - her cottage in the woods. said...

Marcia, I just paid for photos on my blog. Did not want to do it
but did not want to delete old ones and writing is my primary
enjoyment.
Take care of you...

judemiller1 said...

So far I haven't heard about paying for photos on Blogger--that will really hurt me as I can't afford it. I don't see how you can handle all this--I don't think I could, but you have the patience and the strength of 10 women!!! Bless you!!

Retired English Teacher said...

You really are going through some big changes, but it seems you are doing so with great grace and acceptance. I hope you are able to get Kristi's future more securely taken care of before her mother passes. This must be so stressful on you all. You are such a kind and loyal companion for LM. I admire our support for him at all levels. God bless as you continue to work on adjusting to the new normal.

I ran into the same problem with my blog. Haven't decided what to do.