Monday, February 21, 2011

Yin and Yang

I'm still here, thinking of you all, and dealing with a bit of exhaustion, frustration, and winter lethargy.
This blog's namesake is working overtime right now to keep LM and I going. We are rowing hard as the tide keeps trying to wash us out to sea. Our darling, Ms G, throws us an anchor with her sweet and silly antics, her times when she just sits and gazes at us with adoration (well, it might be another reason, but we choose to believe it is adoration, love and support!)

The program John attends has not offered one iota of help. It is just a place he is housed and guarded 5 days a week. He chooses, as of today, not to ask for some help which could be available.
We've given up our sweet life to help, and it feels pretty painful right now.

This weekend, I spent more time teaching John to cook and bake. Saturday we made cheese muffins, and today we made a delicious pork roast and homemade applesauce. I enjoy that, and he seems to, as well. There is not much more I can do. When the weather clears we will be back outside working again, and that should go far to improve my spirits.

I fully expect our struggle with the tide to continue for awhile, so I need to focus on what I can do to build my strength of mind. It will come, I am certain. LM and I are fortunate that our love and caring for each other is very strong. He goes out of his way to be concerned about me in all this.

On the up side, yesterday I finished another quilt top! I left LM and John to visit with John's maternal relatives and came home to the quiet of my home, and the sewing went so smoothly.
I also, spent a glorious hour in the sun warmed car by the ocean and had a great conversation with my sister. A Sunday luxury.

When I left LM's late this afternoon, I left my favorite bathrobe behind on his bed as it was made in to a nest for beautiful sweet Ms G....all cuddled, and I could not disturb the repose. I'm looking forward to some sleep right now. It is bitterly cold here tonight after a day of beautiful soft snowfall.
Peace and love to everyone.


Erin @ I Heart New England said...

You continue to be in my prayers; I truly hope John receives the help he needs.
During such trying times as these, our pets are so comforting (I truly don't know what I'd ever do without my Lola!), and our hobbies as well.
Hope you have a lovely week ♥

Anonymous said...

I think of you both and pray that John will grab on to all help available. Sometimes it takes awhile for them to do that. Perhaps in time. You've just started and there will be many ups and downs unfortunately. I know your pain and and am sad you have to experience this. It is so hard to deal with. I'm praying for all three of you...many, many hugs...debbie

Retired English Teacher said...

Sometimes, I hardly know what to say. I do think of you and pray for the situation. I admire the way you seem to keep your own boundaries but help others with establishing new ways of living.

I have so many questions. I guess I need to read back in your blog a ways to see if they are answered. In the meantime, honor your time with others and honor your own life as well. God Bless.

Linda said...

I admire you for your healthy attitude and the healthy boundaries you've set, even though it must be a constant struggle to keep them.

It must be the most frustrating thing ever to want to help someone like John, only to see them turn away from it.

One Woman's Journey said...

Am I selfish - I only think of you.
The rest will survive.
May "you" be Happy, Well, Safe and at Peace......

judemiller1 said...

I worry about your health--these are trying times. Be sure to take time for just YOU--the rest can get along on their own. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Cape Cod Kitty said...

I am so very grateful for all your caring and intuitive comments.
We dealt head on with a "John" issue on Sunday and I think all is quit. I am blessed to have good communication with him, and he is responsive. he does not want to cause issues for his Dad or me and is respectful, but sometimes needs to be reminded of boundaries.
I'm rested, have made myself a nice batch of turkey soup and been doing yoga each morning . This all tightens my grip on sanity as we pass through this time.
Love to all of you!!

mrspao said...

You are so good to care for John like this and one day he will realise what you've given for him. I hope and pray that things will improve. Mrs G sounds like a perfect companion in these times.