Monday, August 17, 2009

Ms Graysea's History or should I say Herstory

It's no secret around these parts that Ms G is my darling feline friend. Under "normal' circumstances she lives with me, and manages my life quite well. I am barely able to function without her. After all, she begins my everyday with loving pats to my face, and loud purring in my ear to tell me it is time to get up, and then must make sure I proceed to the bathroom, then to the shower, and after that to the kitchen, all in a timely manner. Every step leading to when I will sit to have my tea, and she can adorn my lap and make up for the love she missed while I slept. She is a dear little one and these days she is using the same routine to manage LM's life. Two more weeks and she will be home.
One of my dear and thoughtful readers asked me to relate how Ms G came to live with me. Long story!

I was divorced back in the mid-90's and leaving that marriage to start anew, having a cat was really impotant to me as I had never lived without a furry friend. At the time my daughter's cat had a litter, soon, two of those babies came to stay with me. They were crazy, and in to everything and were soon named Pillage and all gray and the other tortoiseshell. For about 5 years I lived and healed and grew on my own, and P & P were my pals.
In late 2000 I met a man (let's call him PG)who swept me off my feet....a very dynamic and strong personality who dazzled me and led me to believe we were destined to be together forever. He was very successful, a pillar of the community, had a nice home, AND he had a very nice gray cat named Sneakers. Within 6 months he convinced me to give up my place and move to live with him in Chatham, BUT, he would not allow me to bring P & P. Through the insanity of loving him, I gave them up to another home, tears streaming down my face. At the exact hour that I dropped them off, Sneakers was killed by a car in front of PG's house. He called me hysterical and I rushed to be with him to offer comfort. I never received any comfort for my loss of P & P. BAD SIGN! I ignored the red flag, though. He did promise that after a few months we would get a new kitten. I moved in as planned and within a day, the abuse began. It was the beginning of 3.5 years of living prisoner in abject fear, pretending that everything was alright, never daring to tell another soul the truth of my life. When he was good he was wonderful, but more often than not I lived in fear that I would say or do the wrong thing, bringing down his wrath of blows and violence. I would learn, almost too late, that I was living the life of a classically battered and abused woman at the hands of a narcissistic sociopath. Time would reveal that I was his third "victim." I was incredulous that this could happen to me.
As months passed, I was torn whether to ask to bring a kitten into the fray, but I was in desperate need of some kitty love, and when I broached the subject of looking for one, surprisingly, he was fairly ammenable, but put all sorts of parameters on the search....right color, had to be his choice and had to be a female. It was crazy but I conceded. We went to look at a litter we heard about, and there, was a tiny little ball of gray fur, still too young to leave her mother, a sweet orange tabby. The owners just loved their many little furry friends, so there was a good feeling. We made arrangements to come back in several weeks.
From the first hour of her life with us, Ms G was subjected to a very loud and violent voice and slamming of all sorts. I confined her to the guest room to help her become acclimated and she never showed her face for the rest of the day. Early in the morning, I went into the room, closed the door, crawled under the bed and lifted her from her hiding spot in a far corner. Very carefully, I held her, against her very strong will, close to my heart and sat with her for nearly two hours, talking softly to her shaking little self. Finally she began to nuzzle and purr and to this day she wants to be held in that very same way.

I stayed in that relationship until 2004. Ms G became a very loving little friend but the minute she heard a raised voice, she was not to be found. She would shake and not eat. It was very sad.

I lived in denial and the belief that things would get better, all the time, they were getting worse and I was knotted with stress. After a weekend of severe abuse and being locked in the house against my will, I managed to escape to the police, just barely saving my life. There was a stand-off with police, and finally he was arrested and jailed. I've not spoken to PG to this day. After spending some time in jail, he was forced to move out of this state but it was a painful transition, during which time he made threatening appearances, etc. I found a new place to live and Ms G and I began anew, helped by some wonderful and loving friends and a lot of counseling. During the first 6 months I had all I could do to get out of bed to go to work, not to mention that I had to have surgery in that time, and Ms G glued her sweet self to me during every minute she could. Just thinking of the care she took of me during those months brings tears to my eyes as I write this. It took her a long while to let her true self emerge just as it did me. Now she did not have to be scared and hide. She became a different cat. We played endlessly and in many ways I think her love got me through.

That is the long of the short trip we took to get to the point, in 2007 of welcoming LM into our lives and finding love in a whole new and refreshing form. A gentle, fun and enduring love which makes us both feel happy no matter what. Through his love, Ms G and I have learned to trust, to feel secure, and safe. It is a blessing beyond my wildest dreams, and hers, too.
LM just called me to tell me he and Ms G are having play time.....she is just totally smitten with him. She'll be home here with me again in 2 weeks. Meanwhile, I will be staying with them beginning this Saturday while guests take over my house. Handy to have the two places.

Ms G and I have been through a lot of changes, and without fail she is my dear sweet purring companion and blog namesake!


Julie said...

Thank you for being so brave and sharing this story with us. You are an inspiration to many!


barbara said...

What a story! Dear, sweet Ms G. How fortunate that you have her love now and during that very dark time in your life. LM is obviously a gentle, kind man or Ms. G would never have anything to do with him. I have never had a cat, due to various family members who had allergies. I have a dear, sweet dog who was abused before I adopted her. She is very timid and shy, but so loving. Now that I am living alone, she means so much to me, like your Ms G.

DEBRA said...

Thank you for sharing your story of Ms.G. I have often wondered her origins, and I am glad she has been there to help you through the ups and the downs.


Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for telling your story. I imagine parts of it were hard to tell. I am sorry about that. But, on the BRIGHT side, LM is the present and all is well. No wonder she is the first love of your life and the one who probably saved your life as you say...and the future is also all good too! Can't get better than THAT!!...debbie

Cape Cod Kitty said...

Thank you all for the kind comments. Ms G is just the most special little healer and she is also a wily critter who mkaes me laugh a lot.

Anonymous said...

HOLY COW! I just heard that Cape Cod may just get some bad weather from Hurricane Bill soon. I hope you batten down the hatches ~ you may be in for a ride!! Hope not! keep us up to date on your weather!!!!!...debbie

Anonymous said...

Mama you are one of the strongest women alive I know. I want you to know how much I love you and no matter what I am here for you. Samantha sends XOXO.

Jeff- in the Berkshires said...

Thank you for sharing your story and that of Ms G.

I have long believed that there are at certain times in our lives when we are presented gifts or guides to us to help us to heal and to move on. The key is whether we are able to open enough to accept the gifts and what they have for us.

Sounds like you have been granted two special gifts at times when you not only needed them but were ready for them.

Poppy said...

The story of Mrs. G and consequently a brief look at your past really touched me. I'm so sorry you both had to endure such horrid treatment. How blessed you both were to have one another. How equally blessed you are to now have LM.