One of my dear and thoughtful readers asked me to relate how Ms G came to live with me. Long story!
I was divorced back in the mid-90's and leaving that marriage to start anew, having a cat was really impotant to me as I had never lived without a furry friend. At the time my daughter's cat had a litter, soon, two of those babies came to stay with me. They were crazy, and in to everything and were soon named Pillage and Plunder.....one all gray and the other tortoiseshell. For about 5 years I lived and healed and grew on my own, and P & P were my pals.
In late 2000 I met a man (let's call him PG)who swept me off my feet....a very dynamic and strong personality who dazzled me and led me to believe we were destined to be together forever. He was very successful, a pillar of the community, had a nice home, AND he had a very nice gray cat named Sneakers. Within 6 months he convinced me to give up my place and move to live with him in Chatham, BUT, he would not allow me to bring P & P. Through the insanity of loving him, I gave them up to another home, tears streaming down my face. At the exact hour that I dropped them off, Sneakers was killed by a car in front of PG's house. He called me hysterical and I rushed to be with him to offer comfort. I never received any comfort for my loss of P & P. BAD SIGN! I ignored the red flag, though. He did promise that after a few months we would get a new kitten. I moved in as planned and within a day, the abuse began. It was the beginning of 3.5 years of living prisoner in abject fear, pretending that everything was alright, never daring to tell another soul the truth of my life. When he was good he was wonderful, but more often than not I lived in fear that I would say or do the wrong thing, bringing down his wrath of blows and violence. I would learn, almost too late, that I was living the life of a classically battered and abused woman at the hands of a narcissistic sociopath. Time would reveal that I was his third "victim." I was incredulous that this could happen to me.
As months passed, I was torn whether to ask to bring a kitten into the fray, but I was in desperate need of some kitty love, and when I broached the subject of looking for one, surprisingly, he was fairly ammenable, but put all sorts of parameters on the search....right color, had to be his choice and had to be a female. It was crazy but I conceded. We went to look at a litter we heard about, and there, was a tiny little ball of gray fur, still too young to leave her mother, a sweet orange tabby. The owners just loved their many little furry friends, so there was a good feeling. We made arrangements to come back in several weeks.
From the first hour of her life with us, Ms G was subjected to a very loud and violent voice and slamming of all sorts. I confined her to the guest room to help her become acclimated and she never showed her face for the rest of the day. Early in the morning, I went into the room, closed the door, crawled under the bed and lifted her from her hiding spot in a far corner. Very carefully, I held her, against her very strong will, close to my heart and sat with her for nearly two hours, talking softly to her shaking little self. Finally she began to nuzzle and purr and to this day she wants to be held in that very same way.
I stayed in that relationship until 2004. Ms G became a very loving little friend but the minute she heard a raised voice, she was not to be found. She would shake and not eat. It was very sad.
I lived in denial and the belief that things would get better, all the time, they were getting worse and I was knotted with stress. After a weekend of severe abuse and being locked in the house against my will, I managed to escape to the police, just barely saving my life. There was a stand-off with police, and finally he was arrested and jailed. I've not spoken to PG to this day. After spending some time in jail, he was forced to move out of this state but it was a painful transition, during which time he made threatening appearances, etc. I found a new place to live and Ms G and I began anew, helped by some wonderful and loving friends and a lot of counseling. During the first 6 months I had all I could do to get out of bed to go to work, not to mention that I had to have surgery in that time, and Ms G glued her sweet self to me during every minute she could. Just thinking of the care she took of me during those months brings tears to my eyes as I write this. It took her a long while to let her true self emerge just as it did me. Now she did not have to be scared and hide. She became a different cat. We played endlessly and in many ways I think her love got me through.
That is the long of the short trip we took to get to the point, in 2007 of welcoming LM into our lives and finding love in a whole new and refreshing form. A gentle, fun and enduring love which makes us both feel happy no matter what. Through his love, Ms G and I have learned to trust, to feel secure, and safe. It is a blessing beyond my wildest dreams, and hers, too.
LM just called me to tell me he and Ms G are having play time.....she is just totally smitten with him. She'll be home here with me again in 2 weeks. Meanwhile, I will be staying with them beginning this Saturday while guests take over my house. Handy to have the two places.
Ms G and I have been through a lot of changes, and without fail she is my dear sweet purring companion and blog namesake!