Change

Life is living up to its promise that it will always be one of change, challenge, and adaptability.  It is a good thing that as I age, acceptance becomes easier.  Our lives have taken a major turn and we are now parenting a 44 year old developmentally challenged girl, LM's lovely daughter, Kristi.  On a daily basis she is teaching me to have more patience than I ever knew possible, to smile, even when your heart is breaking, and enabling me to see her father through new eyes, as the incredibly loving and patient man I love with all my heart.  Kristi is living with LM right now as her mother lays dying of cancer in a local nursing facility.  Ellen most likley will not live  until Christmas, and is so bitter and angry that she tests patience at every turn.  Today we had hoped she would agree to do a will and power of attorney, but she refuses adamantly to provide and prepare for her disabled daughter's future.  We will continue to hold out hope that she will have a change of heart. Our goal is to provide a life filled with new experiences and happiness for Kristi, and to provide for her future.  Right now it has effected many changes for us, as I no longer stay at LM's on the weekends because the house is very small and it just becomes overwhelming.  We are doing this for Kristi and it will be OK.

Meanwhile, LM, Kristi and I had a very quiet but most delicious Thanksgiving together which we followed by taking a plate to Kristi's Mom.  LM and I had a great time preparing what I think was the best turkey I ever cooked. The day after, I took Kristi with me on errands, thrift shopping, some beach visits and we had such fun. It was heavenly to have the 4 days off from work. On Saturday, we worked on finally raking and clearing the yard and garden, and doing a lot of cutting back. Still more to do but the bulk of the leaves is gone. We followed that busy day up with a birthday dinner for my daughter, Sara, and enjoyed a fun evening having she and Samantha in house. 

Unfortunately, there are no photos because Blogger says I can no longer post them unless I pay a fee. The fee will take some consideration.

Winter has begun to chill us a bit here but we love the change of seasons and the stark beauty we have, especially the very late day skies, as I walk to my car after work. The first few steps toward my car find me inhaling a restorative breath of air, and giving new life to my day.

Love to all!

Cyber Week, Manx Style

Thing 1 and Thing 2 are exhausted from shopping, and they miss their Mom who has been in VA visiting her Dad.  Hold on guys she is on her way back today. Cannot wait to go to visit these guys again soon! My brother and wife are having such fun with kitten antics. No news yet on real names.

Hope you all are having fun, too, and that you had a beautiful Thanksgiving. I will write more about ours later.

Love to all!

Shakin' and Hoppin'

Lot's of dancing going on here all by myself this morning. Tuned in to my fave WOMR out of Provincetown, it wasn't fabulous enough to bop around to "At the Hop" by Danny and the Juniors, when next up was Jerry Lee Lewis singing "Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin On"....think I've gotten my workout in for the day. They play the best music.  Alas, it was back to changing my bed, getting dressed and preparing to head out the door to collect LM and Kristi. We had initially decided to spend the day working at Kristi's house, but have decided to do some fun things and postpone the work until tomorrow. We'll visit Ellen first this morning at the nursing facility, and then head off-Cape to take Kristi on a little mystery tour.  She loves to shop so we will find some fun places for her and visit a farm for some Thanksgiving items. We plan to walk at some point, although Kristi cannot go far with her ankle in an aircast, I think we will stop to gaze and breathe in a place of healing for me, the Cape Cod Canal.

I dug out a quilt I made in 1990 when I was healing from cancer surgery, and, worn as it is, I am taking it to Ellen in hopes it will help her heal as it did me.  We feel desperate for a way to bring her comfort. She may say no, but we'll try.

Happy Saturday......

Note to Self

Continue to feed your soul with color and creativity, the company of other creative souls, and be open to new experiences at any given time.

My friend, and kindred soul, Donna, invited me to a poetry reading last night.  It was dark and cold after work, and I could easily have retreated to my warm and comfy cave, but I accepted her invitation, made the drive, and had the most delightful time. There were about 30 people present, many of whom, including Donna, read their work, and the guest reader was a beautiful, talented and hip poet from Boston, Nicole Terez Dutton.   She made me laugh and made me cry, and took us on some world travels with her words. Also, last night, I met a woman that I have not seen since the late 1970's!  We knew each other immediately, and I was thrilled to hear her read some of her great poetry. Sheila and I had been active in starting a group for newly single people when I'd first moved to Cape Cod.
I was immersed for 3 hours in the wonder of words, amidst some truly amazing talent from my own back yard.

Note to self - take the step out the door! 

In other news:
We continue to have a vigil with Kristi's Mom, Ellen. She is currently in a rehab facility, receiving radiation and chemo as a palliative solution for advanced cancer.  Tomorrow, Kristi and I will visit her, and we will also work on organizing Kristi's life a bit by getting some clothes from her house. She is currently living with her Dad, LM, and Ms G, as she cannot live alone.  It is day to day and there is a lot to do, but so far we are coping as new responsibilities have shifted our focus. . Tomorrow Kristi and I will also be dropping off 3 quilts to the professional quilting service.  I think Kristi will enjoy seeing how my quilts are finished. 

Happy weekend, and love to all!

Thing 1, Thing 2 and Storm 2

Posting delay here, due to much beyond my control.......

On election day, sister-in-law, Trish, was finally able to pick up kitten 2.  She had picked up the first of the Manx brothers from People for Cats in Falmouth last week but had to wait to get #2 until he was checked out by the vet.  Sounds like the brothers had a raucous reunion and there will be lots of running/chasing, rolling as these two grow up together.  We cannot wait to see them in person. 
The photo above shows them in Trish's lap after they crashed into sleep following a full evening of play.
Since I wrote the above, Kristi and I have been to see and play with Thing 1 and Thing 2 - due to constant motion I never got a photo!  They are so cute.

We are in the midst of another heavy storm, both weather wise and in our life. Winds have been howling and rain pouring for almost 24 hours now, but we are relieved not to be having the snow that is falling and creating a mess just inland from us.
Storm has passed, a few trees down, but today it is nearly 70 and so beautiful!  A balm for our souls.

As I have written earlier here, we have been trying to encourage LM's very sick (COPD), and  multiple addictions) former wife, Ellen, and custodial parent of his 44 yr old developmentally disabled daughter, Kristi, to allow us to get her medical help. She has refused for a dangerously long time and in the past few months it has become a crisis.  We are very concerned about Kristi.  Effecting a change into this dynamic has become incumbent on us as the only near relatives.  We finally got an Elder Services physician to come in for an evaluation and it was ordered that she go to the ER immediately.  Still adamant refusal!  Yesterday, my LM had to go and forcefully make this happen.  He called the fire dept rescue and Ellen was taken to the hospital.  We are awaiting news on testing that was done yesterday.  Meanwhile, during the day yesterday, Kristi fell while bowling with her day program group, and broke her ankle.  LM had another trip to the ER.  Kristi is now in a cast and is at home with LM.  There is a lot to do as we try to navigate the deep dark waters of seeking a housing solution for Kristi as she cannot live alone. All this will take a lot of time, work and patience.

So here we are a few days later, Kristi has been moved in with her Dad, LM, and she is doing very well.  Testing has revealed that Ellen has a cancerous mass in her left groin area, and possibly in her breast.  We are facing many challenges and a very stubborn Ellen, who is battling us at every turn.  Today she was told she must go to a rehab facility and that did not go over well.  LM is being so strong, but I know he is facing some very painful  decisions. Meanwhile, Kristi is going to stay safely in the care of her Dad with me offering as much back-up as possible. 
So, it may be quiet around here as we face the changes this has brought in our life.  
I am watching a very human experience happen to people I love dearly.  Ellen is making this process as difficult as any one human being can do.  We are steadfast that our primary goal is Kristi's protection. At this point her mother is determined to just be home and have Kristi care for her. It is not going to happen.  

Onward and upward we go!!

Love to all.

A Simply Lovely Day

LM has some wonderful friends from his years at a private school in NH.  They all go back to the '50s....magical years in our minds.  This morning we set out in early crispy sunshine to drive to NH so I could meet a couple of these longtime friends, Ben and Margie.  We drove right through Boston and took in lots of sights, and as we neared NH we were thrilled to see there was still a lot of color to be enjoyed.  The oak trees are the last to don late autumn dresses and were truly aglow in their burgundies, oranges and browns.  Through my years with LM, I have come to "know" Margie through FB and the many stories I've heard from my love.  They warmly welcomed us to their home and we had a delightful few hours sharing some wonderful and fascinating memories. Margie served us a delicious brunch and, all too soon, we were on our way back to Cape Cod, our hearts, tummies and arms filled with lovely homemade gifts and their friendship.  THANK YOU, Margie and Ben!!

As we drove home, sunshine warming us through the glass, holding hands, even while I took a nap, we felt so peaceful and happy, and talked a lot about the importance of friendship.  Coincidently, my dear childhood friend, Priscilla, is coming to Chatham to visit me on Saturday. Can't wait!!

On another note, we are just feeling so devastated for the people and animals suffering so after Hurricane Sandy. NJ and NY is home to many we love, and some have lost their homes and have their kitties missing.  Heartbreaking. We are encouraged to hear of the incredible outpouring of help, in even the smallest ways, that is coming their way.  May recovery move along quickly so their lives can be rebuilt. 

Love to all!!