Miscellaneous

Finally, some trip pix:
Grandsons, Marshall and Jared with "Nana", Ocala, FL

Approaching the Sunshine Bridge, Tampa, FL...spectacular sky!














Daughter Anne & husband, David at Juniper Springs in the Ocala National Forest. We enjoyed a beautiful walk there and saw the natural boiling springs.










LM and MLM at Juniper Springs















We met this little sandpiper on the beach in Naples, FL














LM & MLM at Cape Fear, NC on the way home!














A very cold day at Marco Island, FL, south of Naples...
at the Snook Inn where we shared a lovely lunch with friends from the Cape.















No excuse, just no inclination to write lately. Settling back in to life as usual after the FL trip has been interesting to say the least. Quite a flow of emotions and I have just decided to let them happen. First it was very tearful being apart from LM after two solid weeks of being together day and night. We both had an adjustment to that!! In the meantime, I got really sick....kicked that and have finally caught up on rest, and all the other real life chores.
My grandaughter, Samantha is about to celebrate her 1st birthday, she has taken her first steps and is such a sweet child.

Some worry as Dad got a cold, too and it has been very hard on him....bronchial cough, some blockage in the esophagus and extreme exhaustion. Each time he gets sick we all wonder f he will be able to weather the rigors it puts on his frail 95 year old body. He is not out of the woods with this one yet but he is being watched and is comfortable so that is all we can ask....day to day. I worry and I find myself struggling not to be distraught over it. My SIL is just wonderful and is checking daily to see his progress. So hard for all of us who are far away. I will get there Saturday and hope to see improvement.

LM and I are finding that our time together is very short and often filled with family obligations. We need to carve out time just for us. What time we do have continues to be amazingly wonderful, happy and rewarding and each time we are learning more about each other. He is so open and easy to talk with and he doesn't agonize even about things which could be the cause of a lot of anxiety. He just deals and moves on. His ability to stay in the moment when he is with me, is one of my favorite parts of this journey we are on. No matter where we are or what distracting situation we might be in, he reaches out to touch me or give me a knowing glance so that I know he is keeping the thread of our love taut. LM has a 39 year old handicapped daughter, KM, whom I have become very attached to....we are working on ways to help her have more social contact and perhaps live in a place where she has more people around her. Working through the "system" to effect this for her is not easy so we must persevere. Her mother is not well and LM is concerned for the future. I am happy we can talk about this and perhaps work together for a solution. Everyone has their life challenges. I can see where having KM has made LM into a much more tolerant and loving person. He has had to be selfless with this situation and he has handled it very well. It fills my heart with love to watch him in action.

On Tues I came home to find LM had been to visit Ms G while I was at work (it is another hot love affair with those two!) and brought me a fun gift...a wireless weather station. It is all up and running and a great thing to have here in unpredictable New England.

The Cape was hit with a surprise blizzard on Sunday and we were out driving in it....very bad conditions and the drifts and wind were very scary. Nonetheless we got home safely and the next morning LM had my car all dug out and ready for me to get to work on time....living only a mile from the office helped. Many did not get in that day.

I am trying hard to exercise more and eat a bit more healthily. I really let my healthy habits slide while on vacation and I can feel it, plus my knees have stiffened up from the cold. The more I move the better so on with the show to better flexibility.

Sunday we will watch the Super Bowl with LM's friend, Bob and I plan to make a dinner...I love to cook so much and have planned a nice chicken dish which I found in Eating Well Magazine.

Trying to plan time with girlfriends as I so much want to keep balance in my life and exchanges with other women are so important to me....so much still to learn about life.

Doing a bit of knitting, too. Making wash cloths and scarves, nothing too challenging. I truly want to learn how to make socks but I just cannot get the hang of casting on with double pointed needles. I need to try using two circular needles instead...it is on my goal list. One of my goals for the last few years has been to purge possessions and I have been keeping up with that really well...every few days I tackle another place in the house and weed out. Paperwork, especially is now at a bare minimum and clothing and shoes have been sorted. It feels so good to pare down and have life more simple. I also find that I divest myself of some emotional baggage by ridding myself of "stuff" I do not need.
That is about it for my sort of quiet life these days...work is very busy and we are grateful as the economy is so bad here.....no shortage of people who wish to have a VERY high end second home, though. Many builders have no work.

Ms G now has her full quota of love....spoiled baby!

I Need LOVE

Send help now....my people went away for more than two weeks and I had to go and stay with my feline cousins, Sting and Ray and their parents, Jason and Alison. Almost the entire time I stayed inside a hammock I made in the boxspring cover in their guest room. Sting and Ray ate my treats and I was too scared to eat much at all. FINALLY, my people came back to get me and had to shake the bed to scare me out of the boxspring....I did get in a corner where my Mum was able to grab me up quickly and, horrors of horrors, she put me in the carrier. That could only mean one thing....a ride in the dreaded car...my dear LM did hold the carrier in his lap and spoke lovingly to me (I did not respond to his touches!) while Mum drove and I almost made it home without throwing up, almost, I said.
When I was finally released from my prison, I quickly jumped out and ran to hide under the bed. After an hour or so, I finally got to eat some of my favorite treats, and THEN, my people went out for 6 hours and left me alone AGAIN. They went to watch the Patriots play football, can you imagine that??? Well, when they got home, they had a big debt to pay, and pay they did. Of course, they were exhausted after the long trip and just wanted to sleep but I needed a lot of love to make up for the abandonment so I saw to it that they did not sleep one minute all night...I purred my loudest, I patted their faces and hands, I dug under the covers and cuddled with all my might...LM is the best and he gave me so much wonderful love and I was finally beginning to get happy and safe again, and they went out AGAIN. Mum came back later and I have been forcing her to give me love ever since....alas, she has a cold and now I am giving her lots of love...last night I threw my body against hers and stayed as close as I could all night.
All is forgiven now....I love my Mummy and LM!
More trip news and pictures when the cold is gone.

Back to Earth

We had a beautiful trip....so many great moments and so happy!
More on the memories we made but Ms. Graysea is demanding my attention and I have a cold which wants me to lay my head down.
Ms G was very very happy to be home again and was so love starved that she kept us awake all night demanding pats, and human attention. LM was wonderful with her even though she was loudly purring and reaching out to demand touch.
Back to work today and happy to have the routine again.
Off to sleep and dream about the FL trip.

Post Christmas - on to Florida

Christmas was lovely, BUT, I have to be honest and say I felt tremendous relief when the day was over. I have no idea why the holiday makes me feel so stressed. I am surrounded by many I love and beside the man I love but I still had an underlying anxiety. Perhaps it is all the expectations which are put on me (I do this to myself!!) and others at this time but I just want to love my family and friends and give gifts when I am inspired not when I am required.

Christmas Eve I made a lovely dinner and shared it with LM and his friend, Bob. Christmas morning we shared a leisurely breakfast and looked back on Christmases past for LM with his beloved Lillian and then rejoiced in the new life we share and all the promise of each day to come.
Our first stop was to see LM's daughters and share gifts, then on to my son's in Sagamore Beach.
Our dinner, beautifully prepared by my daugher-in-law and son was delicious and it was heartwarming to see Dad enjoying his day, and we really enjoyed our time with baby, Samantha who is now 9 months and trying so hard to walk. The cats were quite taken aback by the baby toddling around and their reactions were pretty funny. Pictures of that to be posted soon!

LM received a Tom Tom navigation system for the car and it will be really useful on our trip to FL which launches Saturday morning at 5 am. We can hardly wait to be "on the road".
There will be many stops and visits with family as well as treasured time alone. I think we are both ready for renewal of our spirits and peace.
We will be in Naples FL for New Year's Eve. No resolutions, no time limits, just love to be shared with each other, family and friends.

Christmas Surprise

I arrived home tonight to find tiny lights shining through the window of my darkened house. This being the anniversary of Mum's birth and death, I had been in a reflective mood all day. LM called many times to be sure I was OK and work kept my mind fairly distracted. Also, there were some nice Christmas comments and gifts from clients to make the day even better.

When I saw this sweet little tree, I knew immediately that LM had been by to sprinkle more love on my life. He has made everyday (and night!) Christmas since we have been together. There is also another tree in my sitting room! How nice it feels to be the recipient of such thoughtfulness. LM had a busy day today but he found the time to come all the way over to my house and plan this little surprise for me. It made me cry tears of happiness.

I called Dad to see how he was faring on this day and he was a bit down but was doing his usual activities so hopefully tomorrow will be a brighter day for him.

Worked on the recipe collection for the cookbook today and also put some thought into doing some Christmas baking. I will make trifle to take for Christmas Day dessert.

Being mired in terrible debt from the bills for my oral surgery, I had planned to just breeze right by Christmas but I guess I have no choice but to get in the spirit. How can I help it now that I am so loved and in love with such a wonderful man?

Joy and Peace

Tomorrow is my Mum's burthday and Thursday is the anniversary of her death. Last year marked five years since she left us and it was the hardest year to mark these dates. I cried for weeks and felt very bereft. This year it feels completely different. Most likely it is just a pattern of the grief process, but I think it is due in large part to the incredible love which fills my heart and soul right now. Each day, new aspects of this love unveil themselves and I have moments of wanting to cry because it feels so good, so right. I still have the feeling I want to call Mum to tell her about all this happiness I feel, to tell her how right she was that I would know when true love came along....I would "just know". Depsite the fact that I have had many, many serious relationships in my life, I NEVER knew anything like what I feel now with LM. Best of all, he feels the same way and lets me know that everyday in so many ways.


Chirstmas will be a lot happier this year. Dad is happy and doing relatively well healthwise right now. He continues to thrive at assisted living and takes part in lots of activities. We cannot believe he will be joining us for another beautiful Christmas at my son and daughter-in-law's house. Each of my children are in happy places, my beautiful 10 month old granddaughter and her parents will celebrate her first Christmas with us. My oldest daughter, Anne, is happily celebrating Christmas with her husband and two sons, at their second home on the island of Eleuthera in the Bahamas. LM and his daughter, Kristi will be with my family on that day, too. What a fantastic feeling of love and family!

Knowing I will see my FL family when I visit FL with LM the first week in January is such a treat, too.

My lovely niece, Laura, sent out an e-mail to all the family today to request recipes and she is putting together a family cookbook to be published next year. This is such a wonderful tribute to Mum as many of my best recipes came from my years learning in Mum's kitchen. She was an extraordinary and adventurous cook and she loved good food. Thus, most of the family are wonderful cooks and especially my brothers!
There seems to be a peace which comes with all this joy and I am so very grateful.
And to add a comment from MS. Graysea....she is certainly happy to have such a loving new man in her life....LM even comes to visit and play with her while I am at work...he is really smitten!! JOY!

Saved by Surgery

The onslaught of treats, gift baskets, etc is in full swing at the office! The fact that I can not eat much is saving me from the usual 5 lb gain during this time...we get some seriously good stuff daily but all of it is passing right by me this year. Ahhhhhhh.

The infection appears to be thrush/candida set up by the fact that I have been on such huge doses of anti-biotics off and on for the last 1.5 years....first during and after my knee replacement and then prepping each time for dental procedures, then when I had pneumonia in September. It really got to me this week as my mouth is burning and in pain. There appears to be a bit of relief with the use of Nystatin rinse. I have also begun taking B12 and a natural supplement. This is all making me very tired and off my game.

Have only one Christmas event this weekend which will find us in Provincetown on Saturday to visit old friends. We hope to walk in the town afterwards to see the Christmas lights but we are expecting a major nor'easter storm so the walk may be pre-empted.

Time to sleep. A purry Ms. Graysea awaits me.